Diary of a housewife

~ New Blogging Home~

2009-07-06T14:08:00.002-03:00

Hi Everyone.

Just wanted to let everyone (if anyone) who reads know that since I have begun a new life as a military wife, that my blog must change as well. Therefore, I have created a new blog, here at blogger.

Please direct yourself to my new location :

www.dayinthelifemilitarywife.blogspot.com

This is where I will be blogging on as close to a daily basis as possible.

I'm back!!!

2009-06-23T20:03:00.003-03:00

Wow, what a long break its been!!

I have never been so busy in my entire life! But, we are moved, and settled into our new home, here in Borden, Ontario, and I must say, I love it here!

The weather is absolutely wonderful, my house is spacious and safe, and my children are really, truly happy. They have alot of friends, who come to get them early in the morning, and they don't come in until dinner time. By the time bedtime comes, they are both thoroughly exhausted and content, and can't wait to do it all over again the next day.

Were slowly settling into Military life, still is kinda weird seeing Erik in combats everyday, but I am learning to welcome each day for what it is, a fresh, new day to become something wonderful.

I have had a week or so to start exploring, and slowly, I am branching out on my own. I don't get lost on base as much anymore (haha), and I can venture into 2 neighboring towns whenever I want or need to on my own, and know that I can safely make it home. I go into Angus, Ontario quite frequently to the grocery stores there, and a few other outlet stores. We have also adventured into Alliston (New Tecumseth), Ontario to buy patio furniture. Its amazing to drive such a short drive to town, but to see such expansive farms in between.

I let Erik drive into the larger neighboring city, Barrie, Ontario, because I'm still a bit nervous of the 8 lane highways. Its so interesting to explore the surrounding areas, and I can't wait for the Farmers markets to start to open.

I have also, believe it or not, made a few friends already! The parents of the kids that my girls play with are really great, helpful people. They help out with questions I might have, and they give great advice as to how things work being a Military family, I'm trying to absorb as much of their knowledge as possible!!

So, so far so good :)

Erik left this morning at 5am for 2 nights/3days in the field, so these are my first few nights alone at home with the girls.

Today was fantastic! I took them outside to play in the kiddie pool that Jen, our neighbor sets up each morning (shes a stay at home mom that watches kids as daycare up here is hard to get into, waiting lists are rediculously long), as well as the home made water slide, and the kids play, all day long. Its nice to sit with other mothers and chat, tan, and watch the kids grow.

Both of my girls were completely exhausted by dinner time, and are now both asleep, and its only 7pm here!!!

I'm going to spend the rest of my evening with a good book curled up in the lazy boy, downstairs with the A/C on.

It feels great to be back on track!!

Total. Chaos.

2009-05-31T19:08:00.003-03:00

Moving time.

Everything from moms on its way to Fredericton (we bought ALOT while we were here).

Military movers coming this week, and kidnapping...err moving all of our stuff.

4 bedroom house ready for us to move into.

We leave on June 9th.

Arrive on June 10th.

Moving truck arrives June 12th.

I live in total chaos right now, but I can't wait to get to my new house!!!

Long overdue

2009-04-19T18:41:00.002-03:00

Boy, how time flies.

So, an update in a nutshell.

Well, we are gearing up for our move to Borden, Ontario. Erik is currently on his SQ course, and he will complete that course on May 16th. If all things go well, we will be moving up winith a week or 2 of that date. On May 18th we will recieve our PMQ, so I'm hoping Erik will have a week of leave shortly after for us to drive up together.

Right now were playing the waiting game for the movers, because they need to come and do estimates and go through all of our belongings. Right now everything of ours is packed from when I moved in November after Erik left for basic training, but apparently, from what I hear, they will inspect our packed boxes, and repack items according to their standards.

Once they pack up our stuff, it will be given an inventory number, and sent to a warehouse, to be placed on a larger truck possibly with one or two other families belongings, that will go to the same area.

This is my biggest worry, that our stuff wont make it to Ontario, but I know that is the least of my worries. As long as we all make it there ok, we have won the battle. I'm looking forward to having my own home again, my family all together for the first time in AGES. I'm looking forward to meeting all of Eriks EME buddies (EME is the "company" hes in, Maintenance Company), and I'm looking forward to my girls getting back into a daily routine. The biggest thing I'm looking forward to is Kallie and Tiana having their own rooms!!

The kids are excited to move as well, because they will have daddy back. They both get so excited to talk to him on the phone and they are both scared to death to let him out of their sights when he leaves. Tiana is excited to start school in the fall, in a new school. Tiana will have her "princess" room, and Kallie will have her "Tinkerbell" room.

Move things aside, things are going really well. The car works wonderfully, and mom is finally starting to get better. The infection is gone, and today she had her picc line removed, and IV pump disconnected. Now, she is on daily antibiotics to ensure that the infection stays gone, and her walking and flexibility is really well. If things keep going well, mom's looking at going back to work at the end of June/beginning of July.

I'm hoping, once things with teh house and mom settle a bit, i will have more time to blog, and get around to visit others blogs. Right now, I don't have enough minutes in the day!

Changes ahead...

2009-03-29T19:54:00.002-03:00

Helllllo, its me, again.

So, things here at home have been finally really good. Erik flew in at 12:45 am on the 24th of March, and I couldn't be happier! You never realize how small some thing are that you fight over, until you don't have someone to fight with them over. Now that hes home for a few weeks, I'm not taking any time to fight over stupid petty things.

We have talked alot of things over, and we have straightened out alot of things, and I really believe that we will be ok.

One of the biggest changes that will come for us, is the biggest one thus far.

We have decided that the kids and I are going to move to Ontario to be with Erik for the remainder of his training. They expect him to be there for another 8-10 months, and we work best as a team, when we are together to face issues head on.

Were not sure when this move will happen, as everything in the military is " hurry up and wait ", but as soon as I know, I will share it. We could possibly be going with him on April 12 or 13th, to be housed in a hotel until they have a PMQ for us, or we may go up a few weeks later, with Erik coming home to drive up with us. Were not quite sure, but hopefully we will have an idea this week or next.

I am hoping and praying for this one thing to go smooth for us. We could really use a bit of luck on this move, so that we all get there as a family, together, to face the challenges of living in a new city, and province together.

The kids are excited to move, and to have a home again. A place that is ours, with no one else to interfere. Tiana is excited for a Princess room, and Kallie for her Tinkerbell room, even thought I know she would much prefer Wall-e.

Erik is looking forward for us to be together again, and for us to have activities to do as a family. He has a few programs picked out that he would like for us to all take part in, and surprisingly, the first one he chose is a couples program in Communication. I'm looking forward to exploring things for us, and seeing how much better things can and will be.

Today was my moms surprise party, and we now call her Captian Oblivious. SHe has no idea, even as she walked up the front deck, with the " over the hill " balloons, and the "happy 50th" balloons, she didn't even notice!! We walked in, saw everyone there, and my aunt, after a few moments, goes "so, umm....SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"

All she could say is "what?!?!"

It was great:)

The cake I ordered was SPECTACULAR!!! oh my goodness, I couldn't have asked for a more amazing cake!! I am so completely shocked and impressed, that I'm looking for another reason to get another one made!!

Things are good. Finally, thingshere are good.

Finally!! Some GOOD news!!!!

2009-03-24T09:51:00.002-03:00

Hi there!

After all that has happened the last few weeks, with moms second knee surgery, andd the things with the dog, I was really getting desperate for some type of good news.

AND!!!!

We finally got some!!

Erik is coming home for a 2 week compassionate leave, that they ( a doctor, a social worker, and a padre) decided was necessary based upon his health and mental well being. For the last few weeks, since the BS had started with them not knowing about his courses, and then telling him that he wasn't skilled, he hasn't been able to keep any food down, and he cannot sleep. He is constantly throwing up, and doesn't have energy to do anything. Not to mention the emotional strain of things going south between him and I.

I am so happy that he is coming home for a short break. We have alot of things to work on to save our relationship, but I know we can do it:) He said he wants to "talk" about things (military) when he comes home, and decide what to do and where to go from there. Whatever it is he decides to do, I'm going to support him.

If things go correctly, we will be home tomorrow night!

Mom is finally out of the hospital, with a Mid line in her arm, and her new best friend being an IV pump machine that sits in a black shoulder bag. It will give her 3 doses of antibiotics a day, every 8 hours. We need to go every day to get the bag changed , but such is life if mom wants to stay home. After the IV meds are complete, she has to take another 6 months of antibiotics by mouth. Hopefully, things are on the right track.

Speaking of mom, I have been in the process of planning a surprise party for her 50th birthday, and its just about all pulled together!!! It all goes down this Sunday. I have a wonderful lady making her a 2 tiered birthday cake, and i can't wait to see it! She does some amazing wedding cakes, so I know it will be beautiful! It will be at my aunts house, and all of her family is in on it. I can't wait to see her face when she walks in!!! She thinks there is a baby shower for my pregnant cousin on Sunday there, so its funny talking about helping getting things together for it with her, cause she's helping for her own party!!!

I know she will be more than happy on Sunday, after all that she's been through.

Finally!! Something I can be excited about!!!

~Update~ Devastated

2009-03-16T22:21:00.002-03:00

I received word today from the police that the dog has been euthanized, as of this morning.

Agriculture department is going to take her body for testing, to see if there was anything medically wrong with her that could have caused what happened.

After having my dog so long, and after feeling like I really knew and understood her personalty, I have chosen to believe that it wasn't "her" that did this. The real her may have been trapped inside somewhere, or maybe the real her was gone by then, but what attacked my baby wasn't the dog I knew and loved so much.

My heart aches knowing that my beloved dog is gone, but I know, in the end, that this was the best decision. She had become vicious, and I can't stand to watch as another person is hurt by her, with her being in the twisted place that she was in.

After all of this I still love my dog, more than any other pet I have ever had. I miss her so much that my heart aches. I had to make sure that no other children, or people for that matter were hurt, and I know she is at peace now with whatever was tormenting her, and she is her old self up in puppy heaven.

Kallie is healing very well. The wounds inside of her mouth are almost completely healed, and the ones on her lip outside are closing in nicely. From the looks of things, she may not even scar from this, which would be a bonus.

Time will heal wounds, but what happened to her is burned into my memory. It will take some time, but i'm sure things will go back to normal, as normal normal ever is.

Devastated

2009-03-16T13:02:00.002-03:00

Saturday had to be the worst.....day.....of...my...life.

Saturday around 5pm, my daughter, Kallie (2 yrs old) was attacked by our family dog. Not, bit, not snipped at, full blown attacked.

I am so luck that I was in the room when it happened, because I can honestly say that I believe she would be dead if I hadn't been.

I have never been so completely and utterly devastated......so shocked...and so in the dark. The dog grabbed her by the face, mainly her lip. I had to kick my dog as hard as I could to get her to let go of the baby.

I could tell that if i didn't kick her, she would not have let her go. The dogs head was thrashing back and forth, and the growl that was coming out of her was that of a completely different dog.....it wasn't my dog that did this.

In a panic, I hit the redial button on my moms phone, and thank god it was my sisters phone number that it called. She lives only 2 blocks down the street. All I could say in between screams and tears was" Kallie's bleeding!!! get here now!! Kallie's bleeding!!!" .

Erik phoned about 2 seconds later, to which I screamed the same thing to him, even though I knew he couldn't get here.

When i hung up with Erik, my sister and her boyfriend were coming through the door. Michelle's boyfriend Mike found the dog, and took her outside, and Michelle called 911. Tiana, in the meantime, was curled up under a blanket hiding in my mothers favorite chair, crying, scared to death.

A few minutes later, the police came through the door, ready to draw their guns if the dog was still in the house, and vicious. Paramedics followed.

Once we got the bleeding controled, we finally were able to see the extent of the attack.

5 complete through the lip punctures, through her top lip, on the right side, just under her nose. Multiple lacterations to the inside of her lip, from the dogs teeth. She has scratches across the top of her nose, as well as under her chin.

they loaded kallie up, and took her to the ambulance, and we headed for the hospital, Tiana stayed with my sister.

I guess animal control showed up after the ambulance left.

The doctors cleaned Kallie up, and none of the wounds were able to be closed by glue or stitches. We were told to keep the wounds clean, and keep antibacterial cream on them, like polysporin. All of kallie's immunizations are up to date, so no need for tetanus.

I still can't believe this happened. Nia was my baby, I had her for almost 10 yrs. She has never so much as growled at someone, let alone snip or bite at someone. Animal control said that her breed is virtually safe for people, never heard of attacks from a lab/collie mix before.

I don't know why she snapped. There has been alot of confusion with mom in and out of hospital, but she seemed fine. The attack was completely unprovoked. The dog was sleeping by the back door, and Kallie was going to sit in my mom's favorite chair, and the dog attacked.

Kallie is feeling alot better already, swelling is gone, and the wounds are healing nicely, there's a good chance she won't scar...but I will be scarred forever from this. Not only did my child get injured, but we lost a loved family pet. I don't think I could ever put my heart into another dog, after this happened. I am such a dog lover, and I fall in love so easily with them, but I could never, never trust a dog after this.

I'm just so thankful that my baby is ok. She's ok.

A very proud surprise:)

2009-03-10T19:40:00.002-03:00

I know, how can you be proud of a surprise??

Let me explain.

I keep regular emails with Erik's uncle, JP. He is the caretaker of Erik's Grandmother ( she will be 87 this year), and he has literally dedicated his life to her well being and happiness.

A little background into this part of Erik's family.

Erik used to spend almost entire summers with his Grandmaman. Even after his mom and dad divorced when he was little, she actually was written into the custody agreements to have visitation to him. Erik is her first born grandchild. He tells me amazing stories of things he used to do when he was little with his cousins growing up in Bathurst, and other small cities throughout New Brunswick.

But he never spoke much of Grandpapa. All I knew for the longest time, was that he died when Erik was only 2, and that he didn't remember much of anything of his Grandfather.

Well, over the last few months that Erik has been away, I have learned alot about his grandpapa, and I am so proud, and so amazed to be a part of this family.

Here are some of the amazing things that Erik and I have learned.

Grandpapa was a military man, as a matter of fact, he was a Lieutenant. This is why it was one of Erik's biggest dreams to be in the Military, was to follow in his grandfather's footsteps, even though we have only recently found out what HUGE footsteps they were.

Lt. Phillip Chiasson was a war hero. A decorated war hero.

He was wounded in action, but refused to give up his mission, and his only complaint was that he was angry that his wrist watch was blown off.

At the time he was on the front lines in the war, he was in the same platoon on the front lines as Erik's grandmothers brother., so his brother in law.

His brother in law was hit by a grenade, and it tore off the majority of the back of one of his legs. Grandpapa went into oncoming enemy fire, to drag his brother in law back to safety and to the aid of medics, and actually saved his life.

After I learned this, I understood why Erik's grandmother was so proud. Still to this day, after learning that, I am filled with pride, to be part of this family, their history, and the history that is yet to be made.

Now, after learning all of this, on Erik's behalf, I asked JP a little bit about his father ( Grandpapa), and what medals he had recieved for his heroism and bravery, and a little bit about his father's personailty, to pass along to Erik so that we together could learn what his grandfather was like.

Jp shared my request with Grandmaman, and he decided to do one better. He told us that we are the first people in the family that had wanted any knowledge of grandpapa's military life, and its importance to grandmaman and grandpapa. So, she had decided that she was going to give us the actual medals that he was decorated with, throughout his entire career.

We, were, and still are completely floored. This is something that is so huge for Erik, to be given something, one of the only things his grandmaman has left of her husband, to us. She wanted them to go to someone that would appreciate them when she was gone, and didn't want them to collect dust, and it took literally 28 years for that someone to come along, and it was Erik.

Erik didn't believe me when i told him this, so I had to actually forward the series of emails to him from JP. Erik cried. this is so important to him, and so very much appreciated by us that we can hardly find the words. We are anxiously awaiting our next visit to grandmaman once Erik returns home.

I can't wait to see these medals, and more importantly, I can't wait to hear the stories, and be part of the laughter and tears that will come with these stories. I can't wait to see Erik's face when he lays eyes on those medals for the first time, to see and feel the immense amount of pride that I know he has now, and will continue to have.

I am learning to appreciate all of the stories that are being passed along, and further more, I am looking forward to the stories that we will create ourselves, so that someday, our grandchildren might want to know something about their past.

There you have it....a very proud surprise:)

Quarantined!!!

2009-03-09T18:12:00.003-03:00

At least I should be.

Honestly, myself, and both of my girls are so sick, that the heat in this house from fevers could kill the devil himself.

Kallie started it off on saturday, with a trip to the hospital after throwing up, fever of 38.7, and not eating or drinking all day, and she increasingly became more and more listless. Thank god we got in right away, the nurse took one lookat her and in we went, when normall there is a 4-8 hour wait time to get into outpatient care.

A few xrays, and some fever reducer later, Kallie finally said her first word of the day...." puppy". Best word I have ever heard. We walked outta there wil around 300$ worth of prescriptions....2 inhalers, an infants air chamber, and some antibiotic for a chest/ear infection. She's back to her normal self today.

Tiana started getting the fever and cough and runny nose on Sunday, and Moi, today. I honestly feel like I have been hit by a truck, I haven't been this sick in a really long time. Hopefully it goes as fast as it came on, cause this sucks.

So, we headed to St Jean sur le Richilieu Quebec on Wednesday. The kids did awesome for a 10 hour drive there, no fights or crying fits, and only 2 stops. Got to the hotel okay, dropped off our stuff, and hit up the pool for a bit to get the kids soem much needed exercise.

Well, I must say, Kallie has turned out to be quite the water kamikaze!! She has absolutely no fear of the pool. She would actually walk over tot he side of the pool and just step in, not even a flinch. She was actually holding hands and jumping in after the first few minutes, it was so cute!!! Her sister on the other hand, was afraid to do anything. She basically stood in the water that was up to her chest. Oh well, she'll get comfortable at her own rate:)

We went to St Huberts restaurant for dinner, and O-M-G, it was amazing! Rotisserie chicken that just melted off the bones. Kids meals in little pop up yellow cars, it was really fun!

After we for dinner, we headed back to the hotel, because Erik would be allowed visitation. He showed up at the hotel for 6pm, and stayed until just after 9 pm. The kids had a ball, jumping all over daddy, and telling him things they've done, and shortly after he arrived, they were both so tired that they went to sleep. Erik left early around 9:15, because he still had to shine his boots for the graduation on Thursday afternoon.

Thursday was a hard day for me, very emotional, but it was wonderful. The kids got to see dady following the ceremony for about an hour and a half before we hit the road. The ceremony itself was completely awe inspiring. To know that the people graduating only 13 weeks earlier were just everyday people, to see them responding so in tune and so tightly together to their drill sargeant, it was just amazing. Erik looked so handsome in his dress uniform:)

We arrived home in Fredericton at 3am on Friday. we all slept for a bit, and i was ready and back on the road back here to my moms house a bit after 8 am. Mom's had some more infection complications from her knee replacement, that she's on a new antibiotic, and another spot in her incision has opened up for drainage.

We should know whats going on with that on Wednesday.

Erik is currently in Borden, Ontario, awaiting further instruction on where and when our posting is, as well as when his next training course is. We have talked and discussed alot of the things that were problematic between us, and this has helped some of the tension and frustrations that we have here at home.

All is well now, except for these damn colds!!!

Why I hate the Military.

2009-03-02T10:36:00.002-04:00

So. Here we are, 2 days before Were supposed to leave to pick up Erik from training in Quebec.

Friday, Erik phones, and begs me not to be upset, so I knew it was something bad.

They tell him Friday, that he is going to have to report to Borden, Ontario for a short training program after graduation, before he goes to his posting. Their idea of short is " I don't know, anywhere from 3-9 months".

Fuck you Military.

We were told from the beginning, that where Erik has been settled into a trade for 6 years, and the last 2 of those years being a civilian working on Military vehicles, he required no furhter training after his BMQ course, which he finishes this week.

Yea, this is the part where I get " the military is unpredictable, you never know what to expect, you should have known that this was going to happen, it was a possibility" shoved down my throat from countless people.

From the beginning, from his sargeants, from his petty officers, even from the Warrant Officer, he was told that he would go directly to his posting. Everyone in his entire platoon have recieved offical posting orders, they all recieved them about 2 weeks ago, but Erik still has no clue whats going on.

What pisses me off to no extent is the fact that were being treated as his family as if we do not exist, while other platoon members of his that are all going through divorces, are all being given compassionate leave before repoting to their postings to take care of "family" issues. Erik was told that He would not be given time to see his family.

The next thing that pisses me off, is being told by almos teveryone I know that its wrong for me to want my husband home. That I am going to take his dreams from him if he comes home. That I wouldn't be a good wife if I allowed him to leave training so close to the end, because I can't deal with him being gone.

I can deal with him being gone. I can't deal with my children not getting to see their father. I can't deal with the fact that he has just missed out on the last 3 months of their lives....their bedtime stories, their growth, their laughter, and now hes going to miss posibly the next 9 months as well??

I'm expected to be ok with this because they want to add an additional $5000 to his signing bonus. Big deal. Are they going to give him back the last year of his kids lives that he missed?? And further more, are they going to provide the marriage counselling that we will need after having been apart for a year??

This is the part where I get the part from one of my last posts shoved down my throat about love being able to withstand distance. Yea, it can. I never said that I would stop loving my husband if he went. But can anyone who hasn't been through this honestly be able to say that after not seeing your husband for a year, that you would just be able to have things go back to normal as if he never left?

For the last 3 months, every phone call he has made home, every letter he has sent, in not one has he asked how I was, or our children. He always speaks of what he has done that day, who he hangs out with, his trips to Montreal on weekends and such. How can people sit there and judge me for questioning the stability of my marriage, and the ability of our marriage to survive another training course, if you have never felt as emotionally abandoned as I have been feeling??Since he has been gone, I have watched (through photo's), and listended to him turn into a completely different man than I knew before he left, and even still, I feel like I barely knew the man he was before he left. People expect me to be ok when Erik comes home from this, as if nothing happened and I don't know if that will happen. Only time will tell I guess.

This is all so frustrating, and after an entire weekend of being told that this all has NOTHING to do with me or my kids, and being told that I don't exist right now, I am about ready to go Postal.

Basically, everything he has done so far, ON HIS CHOICE, rides on the information he recieves today. I would not ask him to give up his dreams of serving in the military, but if he considers this, its on his own personal choice. He has come so far, and If he decides that its not worth it, its his decision.

Even tho I say this, I know everyone will in turn blame me for him quitting if he does decide to go home. Everyone will say that I made it too hard on him, that I didn't support him, bal bla bla....which is all bullshit.

He will even tell everyone that, because god knows, when he was freaking out about facing a 40 foot high cage that he has to climb, go across, and go down the other side, it was me that encouraged him that he could do it, that it was one less hurdle for him, and that he would laugh about it in the end.

But no one listens to the little things that you help people through, they only focus on the bigger fails.

So call me a horrible wife, tell me that I'm being rediculous for thinking and feeling the way I do, but until you have personally gone through it with children in tow, things change. I'm not feeling the way I do for me. I'm feeling the way I feel for my children.

No one particularily cares on how I feel personally, nor do I, but I will protect the feelings of my girls.

This is all so tiring, so frustrating. I have cried more this weekend than I have in the last few years of my life. I have made decisions and changed them more this weekend than I have in my life.

So come on world, bring it on today. It can't get worse than this weekend has been.

Quebec in 2 days.

5 days....

2009-02-26T19:58:00.002-04:00

We leave for Quebec in 5 days!!!

We can see Erik for 3 hours on Wednesday night, and his big graduation is on Thursday at 2pm.

I
Can't
Wait!!!!!

I'm excited to see the big production that is graduation, the parade, the soldiers in their parade dress. I know there will be alot of tears that day, as the pride pours through. I will also be crying tears of relief, that we made it through being apart for 3 months, and we will finally be all together again.

I'm looking forward to living in our own space again, on our own, with no outside interference. Don't get me wrong, I love my in laws, and I love my mom, but sometimes, having their input on every...little...thing can make you want to scream. This has really been the hardest few months of my life, but surprisingly, the majority of it has not been from my kids, the majority of the stress and anxiety has been due to input from family, from stuff like finances, to who I can have as freinds, and in general being made to feel like I need to prove my worth everyday.

For alot of the time Erik has been away, I have been made to feel like I don't deserve to have the husband that I have, the life that i have, or the support that I have from friends and family. I have been made to feel like nothnig I ever do or say will ever bee good enough, and for the most part, like I'm not good enough to be part of the family.

But, I know that God puts people together with who they are ment to be with. When you marry, he separates you from your family, so that you and your loved one can create a hole new family, and in the end, how his family see's me doesn't matter.

I am working on being able to speak up about these kinds of things, and I am learning how to better control how I let other make me feel, and how to not let them interfere with my emotions.

I have learned that when its ment to be, love can sustain you for no matter how long you are apart. That not having him here every night isn't punishment, its a blessing in disguise. Having him here with me every night is a blessing, and I can't wait for him to be home.

Our girls mark off each day on the calendar until we leave for his graduation. Tiana asks me constantly how much longer until we go get daddy. They keep reminding me that they need to take their " daddy bears", and that they're going to sleep in a hotel on an adventure.

5. More. days!!!

14 business days and counting.....

2009-02-16T18:39:00.003-04:00

Until my husband comes home.

I can't believe it!

Thank you to everyone who commented and checked in on me after my last post, I was really, really in a bad place that day. I have never felt so down, so completely bare, and bruised. I really appreciate the good friends that I do have, and its times like that that it really proves to you that you are not alone, so thanks alot Ni, for bringing me back to a bit of light, and helping me realize that I don't have to be alone.

This week and next week, Erik will spend in the field. He told me last night in our last conversation that he will be "kidnapped" this week or next week sometime, by the sister platoon, to be held hostage. it his his duty as a Canadian Solider to escape, or die trying, (not literally) before his platoon rescues him. They nominated him due to the outstanding improvements that he has made while there, and because of his outstanding leadership that he has proven thus far.

We will head to Richelain, Quebec on March 4th for Erik's graduation parade on March 5th. If things go well, he will be coming home with us on the 6th. Keep your fingers crossed!!

I have also developed a plan to help myself out of this place that I am in right now. I know that for my own sanity, and so I don't commit complete social suicide ( my friends list is so short, its standing on the edge of a bridge wanting to jump), I have decided that I want and need to go back to school. I have a program chosen, and after my mothers recent hospital stay (she was released today), I know it is the perfect choice for me.

Once things are settled with Erik into his posting, I will be applying for school, and I am SO excited for that! The course is 2 years long, and not crazy expensive, so I will be able to pay for it without financial aid.

On a different note, my girls got a present in the mail from their daddy today....they each recieved a small black grizzly bear, with a beret and military battle gear on. They are SO adorable!!! Kallie walks around the house with hers, saying " my daddy...", and Tiana's is up in bed, waiting for her to sleep with.

14 more LONG business days.

Almost there!

Breaking Point....

2009-02-12T21:01:00.002-04:00

Ever feel like you've reached the end, can't go any further, don't know what to do, or if there is anything that can be done??

I think I'm there.

I'm so tired.

Tired of not existing, but tired of existing.

I'm tired of feeling unimportant. Unneeded.

I have spent most of my young life putting everyone else's needs first. my family. My husband, my so called friends. And yet, in my greatest time of need, not one of my friends will stop to take 5 minutes of of their lives to even ask how I am.

I feel so used. As if once I'm done giving what someone wants, I'm pushed away, swept under the rug, whatever you want to call it.

I realize now that I don't have many REAL friends. none that would drop anything in my time of need to be with me. No one to come and talk when I have had a hard day. All I get is " If I can find time", or " I don't know if I can make it", or " I'm too busy".

I sat in the hospital for 9 hours yesterday. Not one person texted me to see how things were. Not one person called to check on things. I heard not a single, comforting voice the entire time. I spent the hours pacing, sitting along the corridor outside of the surgery suite waiting for someone to come out to tell me my mom was ok. Everyone else I saw there had friends, or loved ones there to go through the extremely stressful time of the unknown with them.

I had no one but me.

Hell, come last night, when Erik phoned, he didn't know that my mom was just out of surgery. He had completely forgotten that her surgery was that day, even though I had spoken to him about an hour before we went to the hospital. I feel as though the one person in this world who is supposed to be there with me (even though at the moment, he can only be there with words) has emotionally abandoned me. Not once since he's been gone has he asked about how i was. It took until yesterday for me to clue into that. He always asks about everyone else, but not me.

Why am I expected to always have myself "together?" Why am I always expected to be the strong one? Why is it that when I break down, I have no one?

When will I be seen for the selfless person that I am striving to be? I try my hardest to do everything and anything I can for anyone who needs me, but yet, whenever anything happens in my life, I am just expected to hold my shit together. Where are my friends and family when I need them? Why can't I be treated as important as everyone who is important to me?

I'm running completely on empty. I have nothing left to give, to contribute to a world that can't contribute anything back.

But, come tomorrow, I will wash away the tears from the night before, apply makeup to cover the circles from no sleep, and trudge on through another day. I don't know why I do this to myself. Maybe its because I am seeking the true relationship of friendship, maybe its because i still feel like I need to prove myself to everyone.

This is how I feel.

This is my life.

Surgery update, and rant.

2009-02-12T09:13:00.002-04:00

Surgery was successful, and all went perfectly.

They had a hard time stabilizing my moms pain control, but they now have her on Morphine every 6 minutes to help the pain.

Now the rant.

I never write about my sister because she is a waste of fucking air. I know this seems harsh, but honestly, when nothing benefits her, she's as reliable as a snail.

The only thing I begged of her was to watch my girls so I could be at the hospital, learning how to support my mother when she is discharged and recovering at home. This means getting her in and out fo bed, bathed, dressed, up and down stairs, in and out of chairs, etc. I have not asked her once to help with prescription costs, or costs of the rental equipment that she needs in place here at home she she can be home safely. I have even gone as far as to give her some money to do things with my girls through the day so that they are occupied, and not staring into a tv all day.

She watched them yesterday while my mom was in surgery. Ya fucking hoo.

She swore to me, promised me on my mothers recovery that she would be here by 8:30 am so i could be at the hospital for 9am to meet with my physiotherapist to start learning how to do things.

She hasn't shown up.

Go figure.

Now, I need to find babysitting arrangments for my kids until Monday when my mother is discharged.

She's fucked with the wrong person.

Her days of being a blood sucker to me and my mother are OVER.

I mean, honestly, is it so wrong of me to expect her to hold up to her agreement to be here on time when I am doing everything else on my own?

Stressed out. Exhausted.

Nothing I can do though.

Surgery Day

2009-02-11T08:19:00.002-04:00

Well, were finally here.

My mom goes in a little later today for Total Knee Replacement Surgery. Very serious surgery for her, and I am petrified.

Admitting at 12 noon, surgery at 1:30pm. I'm not sure how long the surgery will take, but I do know that following surgery she will be in the hospital up to 7 days.

Once all is said and done, I will update with how things went.

Wish us luck!

Yay! A new post!

2009-02-02T13:48:00.002-04:00

I've been a very busy girl!

Road trips, packing, unpacking.....too much going on.

Erik is doing well, he left this morning for his first week " in the field". I wont hear from him again until Saturday, but I know he will do great in the field!

He returns to base Saturday, and spends week 10 there. Weeks 11 and 12 are back in the field, and his last week, week 13 is spent preparing for his graduation, on March 5th. I can't wait to see him in his battle dress, in the parade. I am so proud!

Next week we will get his posting orders, and, well, I'm nervous about this. My mom is having major surgery next week, and will be out of work to recouperate for the next 6 months, and I know she really needs me here for that. I'm really afraid that we will get shipped across the country, but, I guess we can't count chickens until they are hatched.

So, the remainder of this week will be spend packing up my clothes, the kids clothes, and making sure our rooms are clean and squared away for us leaving. I'm nervous that I'll forget something here that I know I'll need, but I can only take so much. I have a few days to go back and forth and get things squared away, so I'm sure it will all work in the end!

In the losing weight department...well. I'm doing fantastic! I'm down 45 lbs, and 6 pant sizes...I actually went and bought new jeans the other day, and I freaked out cause they are size 34!!!!! I haven't fit into a size 34 since 2003!!!

Exhaustion, and other nice things

2009-01-08T07:17:00.002-04:00

What. A. Night.

*yawn*

I thought I was going to get a great nights sleep last night, headed to bed at 9:45pm, got comfy, and started to dream. Kallie was up screaming at 11.

Sigh.

Got her back to sleep at 12:20am. Went back to bed myself. Couldn't get to sleep, my stomach was so upset, and it felt like someone was taking a knife to my intestines. Joy. The stomach problems continue. FInally crashed and burned at 2 am, only to be woken up again at 2:30am, by Kallie.

Got her comfortable and sleepy again, went back to bed myself at 3:30am.

Woken by Kallie's nightmare screams at 4:30am.

Got her settled down again, and fell asleep again at 5am.

Here I am, watching Kallie dance in front of the tv to Bo on the go. SHe was up ready to rock at 6:30am.

Sigh.

Erik's been gone 2 weeks, another 6 left until his graduation. NOt sure how many weeks until hes "home" again.

Happy Friday.

Happy New Year:)

2009-01-01T11:26:00.002-04:00

Well, Yes, I did disappear for a while.

I was enjoying my time with my family, with all of us being together for the few weeks that Erik was/is home for holidays from training. He leaves again this coming Sunday to go back, and he graduates his training program on March 5th, if all goes well.

The holidays were fantastic for us! The kids made out really well, and mommy even did well for the first time ever. Erik bought me a watch, silver, with a pink face, and its covered in Diamonds!! I have to send him away more often, he brings home nice gifts!! I also recieved loads of pajama pants, from those loved ones who know how much I hate to get dressed!!

We travelled alot, and I actually got to do alot of driving myself, where I am liscensed to drive now:) We took the kids to Bathurst to visit Grandmaman, and all of Erik's cousins that are down from all over the country for the holidays. We also made a few trips to Saint John to visit my family.

We spent our New year eve in Saint John, taking my mom to run some errands, and getting Erik new sneakers for training. We came home to Fredericton around 7pm. I did my mother in laws hair for a local dance thing she and her husband were going to for New Years, and I started to not feel so great.

I have had this damn head cold for about 5 days now, and my head doesn't feel sick anymore, but I feel completely out of balance. I'm still blowing my nose constantly though, 3 rolls of TP, and 3 boxes of Puffs with Vicks lotion later, and I'm still blowing strong. It took me until 2:30 this morning to get to sleep, and I was up at 7.

Today, me and Erik are making a big ham dinner, with all the trimmings. Should be our last big meal together as a family. Erik flies out on Sunday at 12pm.

I hope everyone had wonderful holidays, and a safe New Year:)

Oh, and big CONGRATS to Kelly on her engagement!!!

He's home!! and such......

2008-12-15T11:32:00.002-04:00

Erik's home, safe and sound. His plane was a little delayed, but only by roughly 10 minutes.

The kids were so excited to see daddy!

Tiana saw him get off the plane, and she ran towards him yelling " Daddy!! daddy!!!!", and Kallie, just kinda looked at him, not quite sure of the hair cut. Kallie passed out cold in the van on the drive home from the airport, but when she woke up, she was yelling " dada!! dada!"

Erik looks different. Shaved head, and about 25 lbs lighter. He also has alot more defined muscles, his arms and legs mainly. His stomach is looking good too!!!

The day he got home, we recieved some bad news, his uncle, Louis, had passed away. A friend of his hadn't heard from him, and got concerned, and he found him in his apartment, dead. So, it was a really hard first few days of him being home. His mom is in Quebec, closing up his accounts and splitting up his belongings amongst the family. I'm not sure when the funeral will be, but I know it will be really small and private.

Today thus far I had yet another driving lesson, this time was 2 hours. Only tomorrow left to go, and my exam on wednesday for my liscense.

Wish me luck!!

Off to do some christmas shopping this afternoon.

Have a good one!

2 Sleeps!!

2008-12-09T11:52:00.003-04:00

My husband is home in 2 sleeps. Thursday morning at 11:44am his flight comes in, and he will be all mine again, for 25 days.

I.

Can't

Wait!!!

Sigh. Its been a long month in some senses, but really fast in others.

The kids have done extremely well with daddy being gone, but Tiana is really excited for daddy to come home. Tonight, they are going to make "welcome home daddy" signs to take to the airport with us.

Right now the rush is on to get the few items I bought for him for christmas wrapped, and our bedroom cleaned, and his clothes unpacked (from when we moved).

This morning I went to the grocery store to pick up my order of back ribs, so we can make honey garlic chicken and ribs for his first dinner home, as per his request.

Wow .

Its hard to believe that christmas is only 2 weeks away!!!

There is snow all over the ground, with temperatures here hovering between -20 celcius and 0. The tree is up, and decorated, and the house is decorated as well. All we need is for daddy to come home, and the fat man to come with his reindeer!!

I feel so great!

2008-12-03T07:49:00.003-04:00

After lengthy discussions with my mother in law and father in law last night about starting a Christmas tradition together, one that would teach the children about the true meaning of
Christmas, and for them to know how wonderful it is to have the spirit of giving, we have decided that we are going to adopt a family each year around Christmas.

There are alot of families here that don't have enough to go around at Christmas, bare cupboards, empty refridgerators, and nothing to give their children on Christmas morning. The local food banks and shelters look for people willing to "adopt" the families that are going through this rough time, to help them get off their feet and help them enjoy the holidays, and not have to worry about food, or toys.

We've decided to adopt a family, and in the next day or two we will find out the basics of the family, how many children, any special needs, food allergies, etc. Then, we will go, and gather groceries, and the kids are going to pick out a toy or two at a store for the kids. Were going to get them everything they need to fill their cupboards, and to have a turkey for christmas.

This year this is going to be a kind of spur of the moment thing, but this is something we plan on doing every year. Through the year we are going to have a jar to put change, and any money that we have extra that we would waste on junk food or fast food, and around the middle of November, we will put all of our savings together, to give a family that couldn't have a christmas, a wonderful Christmas.

I am so excited to start putting things together, and I can't wait to see the surprise on the family's faces as we deliver a van loaded full of groceries, and gifts for them!

Things around here have been going okay. Both of the girls are still a bit sick, but mostly just a cough thats left. Kallie has basically cried for the last week, clinging to my hip. I hate it when she's not feeling well. Tiana has turned into quite the mother hen, Kallie can't even so much as blink without Tiana yelling to me what she's doing.

What I wouldn't give for an hour of silence. Wow.

Right now I'm looking into schooling for myself, and really taking a look at what I want to do with my life, career wise. There is one career I saw myself in since I was about 15 years old, so I'm really looking into things, and seeing just how much I would like to be in that career. I will let anyone who actually reads this know which career that is once I have decided.

Erik is home in 8 days!!!!

The countdown is here!

2008-12-01T09:25:00.002-04:00

The countdown until Erik comes home is here, I mean.

10 days.

Wow.

I can't wait!!!

The weekend wasn't bad. Friday night my mother and father in laws went out to dinner, and went to do some christmas shopping. Leata came over and we made dinner, and she headed to the movies.

Bathed the kids early, and sent them to bed a bit later than usual. I then had the house to myself, so i curled up on the love seat with the laptop, and chatted a bit with some friends and addressed some christmas cards that need to be mailed. I watched Ghost Whisperer, and headed to bed around 10:30.

My mom came up for the night Saturday morning, so we went and pickd her up at 11 am, and came home to do some things here. Around 3 we headed out shopping with my mother in law, and then we took the kids to the Santa Claus parade downtown. That ended around 6, and we came home, made pizza, and got warmed up from the chilly weather from the parade. I went to bed early from a bad headache.

Oh, did I mention, that I lost my voice on Friday? Yep. I'm not sick at all, just a stupid cough, and no voice.

Sunday I went driving with my mother in law, to get me some more practice bfore my upcoming road test to get my drivers liscense. We went to the place where the drivers examiner takes you to do your parking test. You get 3 shots at parallel parking in the exam. So, I only got 3 tries when I was out. Keep in mind I have NEVER parallel parked before. First try, I put the back end of the car a bit too far into the spot, but the second and third tries i did it perfect:)

We drove around downtown for a bit, and headed home, to make a big dinner. We made roast beef, whipped potatoes, carrots, and turnip. It was sooo yummy:)After we took my mom to the bus, we sat around and watched some shows last night, and I broke out the Lemon meringue pie and my home made spinach and artichoke dip.

Was another early night to bed last night, and it was great!

Postal, anyone?

2008-11-28T10:29:00.002-04:00

Oh. My. Freaking. God.

What a long week. I really feel like I am going to go postal on someone soon.

getting up everynight at 3, and then up at 5:30 for the day with kids is really tiring. Kids who are sick, and constantly whining, and screaming, on top of being tired makes it harder. Feeling like an overworked housekeeper who hasn't had a break in 3 weeks?? Exhausting.

In the last week I have managed to have a total of about 15 minutes to myself. all in the shower.

Not only does this house have to be kept immaculate at all times, but I am also resonsible for the laundry, and dinner every night.

My mothering to my children might as well be non-existant, because everything I say to my kids is overruled by Erik's mom.

I don't dare say anything. I don't dare ask for a break. I just hope I can make it to December 11th, when Erik comes home for Christmas.

Only 12 more sleeps.

Moved...sorta....

2008-11-22T21:14:00.002-04:00

So, here I am, writing from my mother in laws laptop, awaiting some type of internet connection in my room.

The big move was supposed to have happened today, but the first big hurdle was the snow storm we had over night. The second big hurdle, was the fact that my asshole sister was supposed to have come up to pick up the large items we had for her, but she decided to not even rent the truck, so, now I have a few of the items listed on Kijiji to sell.

Her deciding not to come threw a huge loop in the plans for the day. We had to rent a truck today for tomorrow, and now we are looking for a few hands tomorrow to help with a few larger pieces, mainly my washer, and my wall unit.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day, I can tell ya that. Hopefully, everything makes it to my storage place, and our bodies (mainly our backs) are relatively unhurt. One way or another, we gotta get moved.

The big move is upon us...

2008-11-20T19:14:00.002-04:00

Saturday.

Thats when its alllll goin down, the move that is.

The majority of all of the small stuff is gone already to his moms house, and to storage.

Tomorrow evening we are moving the girls' beds, the girls' fish bowl, and my desk and computer, possibly both of the tv's., and any of the left over small stuff, groceries, etc.

Saturday morning we are going to move all of our large items.

My sister is making out like a bandit here Saturday. I'm giving her both of my love seats, 2 dressers, 2 single beds, dishes, an entertainment stand.

Once we know where Erik is going to be posted, we are going to buy a new living room set, and possibly, new chairs to my grandmothers dining room table.

Erik is doing well away...he's doing alot of physical training, and alot of simulation stuff. He hasn't had access to "civi" clothing in 2 weeks now. He still phones everynight, and all is well for him. He will be hone in 19 days for christmas vacation.

I will post again as soon as I can get a connection to the net.

I feel like a rollercoaster is inside of me...

2008-11-12T07:59:00.002-04:00

Remembrance Day yesterday here, and Veterans Day for the US folk.

What a terribly hard day for me.

I went with my mother in law and father in law, as well s the kids, downtown to see the placing of the wreaths at the cenitaph, as well as the parade of soldiers, RCMP, city police, and veterans.

It was absolutely breath taking. Seeing all of those who fight for our country, as well as our city marching past in their battle dress, as well as seeing all of the people who came to pay respect to these men and women who are here presently to fight, and who came to honor those who have fought and fallen.

Knowing where Erik is, and what he is in training to do, seeing these men and women marching past put things into a hole new perspective for me. It was such an emotional rollercoaster for me, to watch those soliders march past. Grief washed over me, grief like I have never felt before. I felt the grief of every military mom and wife who have ever lost someone in battle. I felt anger, anger at all of the lifes that had been taken so unneccesarily.

I also felt pain. The biggest pain I have ever felt. Of loneliness, and of heartbreak. Pain from fear, and pain from uncertainty.

Yesterday marked day 3 of Erik being gone, and it was the absolute worst day emotionally for me. I knew that I was going to break down at some point yesterday. I knew I jad to hold it together until Erik phoned, because if he sensed the slighted bit of despair in my voice, he would leave everything in a heartbeat, just so that I would not hurt for him anymore.

And then it came.

He phoned.

We talked for 5 minutes, and then he was gone. I don't know when I will hear from him again.

After I hung up the phone, the tears came. The most painful tears I have ever cried. I would not wish the pain that I have right now on my worst enemy. To go from being with him everyday, and having him next to me at night, the good night kisses, all the sweet "I love you's", and even the smell of him (or his favorite deodorant), to being alone day in and day out, not knowing when I will hear his voice again. Knowing that I will go to bed alone, in my big bed, with no one to curl up with when I have a bad dream, having no one whisper I love you to me before I close my eyes, having no one to kiss goodnight, is the worst pain I have ever felt.

To hear his voice for only 5 minutes, and hearing in his voice how exhausted he is, and how much he is going through for the safety and security of our family is also heartbreaking.

To have the love of my life so far away, and not knowing the smallest details of how his days are, is terrifying to me.

I am counting down the longest days of my life, until he comes home for the best 3 weeks I will ever have with him. He will be flying home on December 11th for christmas vacation, to leave again January 4th.

Until December 11th, I will be strong. I will try to hold my head up, and face each day with new eyes, and make the best of where I am and what I have to do each day. I will do whats best for my girls, and make sure they get through each day.

But I can tell you one thing. I will never again take for granted the time I have with my husband, and my children. So often we just go through the motions of life, the day to day things, without really paying attention to what we have right in front of us. Sometimes, you dont realize what you really have until its gone, even for just a short period of time. I am learning the hard way to embrace each and every single day, as if it is my last.

But, as strange as it sounds, I would not change a thing. Everyday is new to me, and I am pushing my own personal boundaries and limits. I know that I can do things on my own, and that what I am going through wont last forever.

Today is a new day.

day 1 down, 4 weeks, 6 days to go.....

2008-11-10T21:01:00.003-04:00

until I see my husband again.

He left at 4:00 am Sunday morning to go to basic training, as Private-Recruit Erik Chiasson. It was one of the hardest days of my life. He asked me to not get out of bed to see him off, it would be too hard. So, before he left, he came in, and said his goodbyes, as I fought back the tears that were welling up.

Now, according to my mom, who was in the living room when he left, Erik said to her " damn, I miss my girls already" , before he went outside.

He phoned me a few times from the airport in Montreal, while he was waiting for his bus to the CFLRS, and he seemed in good spirits. The last I heard from him was at 2pm yesterday, and he only wanted to tell me that he had just paid 15$ for a meal at burger king.

Funny, I just got off the phone with Erik as I was typing this. He is doing well. His room is on the 11th floor of a 12 storey building. NO elevators. He sounded good, but tired. I hope he gets the chance to call home each night, if he is permitted to.

Today wasn't too bad. Went for a walk with the kids, and did some more packing. Mom went home on the bus tonight, and my friend went home to Saint John until Wednesday. Tonight is my first night home alone with the kids. I hope they sleep all night! Momma could use a good sleep.

On the schedule for tomorrow are the remembrance day services downtown. I'm going with my mother in law and father in law, as well as with the kids. Should be a good day out. We will see what tomorrow brings.

The world as I know it is about to change.....drastically.

2008-11-03T08:33:00.002-04:00

Erik is leaving this Sunday.

He recieved his military offer, and has decided to take it. So, this Sunday, he will be leaving for St. Jean, Quebec, for the first 5 weeks of his training. He will be home for 3 weeks for christmas, and then he goes back, until the end of February.

There is so much to do, and so many changes ahead, that I really don't know where to start.

I have an entire house to pack, as we have decided that it would be best for me, as well as the kids, to be close to family while he is gone, and we are going to go and live with his mom and dad. So, I have the house to pack, and kids to keep, and a husband to get get packed up and shipped out.

Sigh.....what an emotional rollercoaster this week has been and will be.

Need to get a storage place, get things moved to there, stuff moved to my mother in laws house, man, I hate moving!!! But, I know this is the best decision for us, as we don't know where we will be going in 5 months for his posting.

Good News Alert!!!!

We bought a new car!!!!!

Well, not brand new, but new to us.

A 2003 Pontiac Grand Am. Its black, 4 door, automatic, and fully loaded!!! I am SO FREAKING HAPPY!!!!!!

I can't wait to get my liscense in the next month or so!!! I have my first car!!!!!!!

Anyway...that's all I got for now. Please direct any good vibes my way..I could sure use the chat, or the thoughts:)

And it hurts...with every...heartbeat...

2008-10-15T08:36:00.002-03:00

Ever get a song burned into your head, and all you can do is walk aroudn singing it for days and days on end??

Thats me right now.

The sing?? With Every heartbeat by Robyn. Go youtube it. Its so....different, and I LOVE it.

So, I forgot to mention about this artist that opened for the blue man group.....his name is David Garibaldi.....hes a "performance artist". He does these amazing 6' paintings in roughly 5 minutes, and they are out of this world!! So lifelike, and you don't know what or who he is painting til he's about 3/4's of the way through the painting. The paintings he does during the show then sell for up to 1200$ a painting after the show.

I noticed while looking through his site the other day, that Tina and Jess have 2 of his pieces, they have posted pics of the work on Tina's blog, and on Jess's blog. I was also SHOCKED at how much they sell for. you guys have some amazing pieces of work!!!

Go check him out. There are some pieces of his shows on you tube as well.

oh.....only other this I wanted to say was....I start my first hour of in car lessons today..kinda nervous! Hopefully I don't crash!

Me...a before and after.

2008-10-09T12:14:00.004-03:00

First photo is of me, taken this morning, wearing size 16 jeans. Kinda still shocked at a size 16, but.....yep.

Second one, of me in orange, is obviously the before photo. Taken last summer, wearing a size 20-22 jeans.

No real trick to the way I was able to shed some chub. I no longer eat a full dinner sized plate of food, I can only handle a small dessert plate full, and for the most part, it is full of veggies, or salads. I can't handle red meat at all anymore, and I stay away from alot of pasta, and potatoes. Bread is a weakness, so I will not avoid that...haha. I drink ALOT of water, probably close to 3 litres of it a day.

Just for you Tina-cious!!

Turkey day is coming!

2008-10-07T08:10:00.002-03:00

Is anyone else as excited as I am for Thanksgiving? This weekend, us up here in Canada will celebrate Thanksgiving, and I can't wait.

I have been working hard to eat right, and to lose weight, and its finally paying off. I went from a size 20-22 pants, to a size 16! I feel alot better.

I don't eat alot of meats now. I am putting my focus onto vegetables, and fruit. I'm not a big potato person, or pasta, so I have never had to really worry about carbs too much. I haven't had a glas of Pepsi or anything carbonated in 2 months now. I don't think I have ever felt so good:)

Things here have been really trying, and stressful. Tonight is my final classroom portion of Drivers education, and I'm just about ready to start my in car lessons. Kinda excited for no more late night classes.

The kids have been well, Kallie is finally coming out of her shell, and starting to talk. She says papa, mama, nana, NO (this is a big one), go, where you go?, and a few other small little things.

Tiana has been really pushing the attitude, and we have been quick to snap her out of it. But on the most part, she's been really good, taking care to keep a close watch on her baby sister, and keeping things away from her. Her baby sister wants to do everything she does. Oh, to be small again.

We spoke with recruiting (military) in regards to where in the process Erik's application is, and we found out his medical exam has been cleared, and hes been cleared physically. They are waiting on his papers to return to Fredericton from Ottawa, and we should recieve an offer soon.

The biggest, and hardest thing to go through since my last post, though, has been the passing of a good friend's mom.

Marg Hebert, mother of The Funky Cowboy (Terry) Lost her battle with cancer on September 28th. She was an amazing, generous, and loving woman, and I will never forget her. I know that she is now at peace, watching us from heaven with Albert( the philidelphia cream cheese guy).

Last week was such a hard week, for me personally, going through my own grieving for the loss of a dear friend whom I had only just begun to really get to know, but even harder for me to know that Terry, such an amazing friend of mine, is in so much pain from his loss and there is not a hole lot I could do personally to help. His mom was his best friend, and no one will ever take her place. Her optimism while going through her treatments kept everyone uplifted that she would make it through, but the monster that is cancer claimed her from the world too soon.

So, this week, I have been kinda laying low, staying home, and just.....being. A few sleepless nights so far, with my head being overly stressed about a few different things. Things will sort themselves out though, I am sure.

Is it the weekend yet?

2008-09-11T07:49:00.002-03:00

So, its thursday morning, and its friggin cold.

Kallie is sneezing her head of, trying to get all of the gross stuff thats congested in her head out. Tiana is still sleeping. There is so much to get done before saturday, and not alot of time left to do it in.

Saturday, the lady who owns the house we live in is coming to take pictures of the entire place so she can list it for sale. So, all of the painting needs to be finished, as well as my entire place scrubbed from top to bottom, and anything that doesnt need to be out, put away.

I have alot of things to purge through, and the basement storage area needs to be cleaned,and organized. We will see how far we get.

Today, I am off to the podiatrist AGAIN. Last year, she removed part of my big toenail on my left foot, due to severe infections from ingrown nails. That healed wonderful, and you cant even tell im missing 1/4 of my nail,and I'm so glad that it wont grow back in. The problem area this time, is the same toe, other side of my nail. Ugh. I reallllly hope she just takes it off, honestly. I'm so tired of having pain in my feet!!

Tonight is day 2 of class time for Driver's education. Hopefully it goes as quickly and smoothly as Tuesdays class did. I'm hoping to get in a bit of practice on the weekend. We will see.

Erik went for his military aptitude test, and it took ALL day. Now, from here, he goes for his medical and interview on the 22nd. We will see how that goes. If all goes perfectly, he will recieve a request for enlistment. He can either accept or refuse. If he accepts, we get a 20,000$ signing bonus, 10,000$ when he signs, and 10,000$ when he completes basic training, or he can refuse, and we will stay where we are living.

I'm excited to see what happens though. I'm looking forward to if and when he does sign, us being able to travel across the country, and meet new people, and explore new cities.

We will see.

New Tattoo's!

2008-09-10T10:27:00.005-03:00

Above is my new tattoo, and obviously, the the right, is Erik's.

What do ya think?

Its OVER!!!

2008-09-02T08:10:00.002-03:00

Wooot!!! The wedding is OVER!!!

Saturday was the gigantic fiasco that was Erik's mother's wedding. Thank god everything went smoothly, except for the little part where Dan (father in law) forgot the marriage liscense in Fredericton..... and we were a little over an hour and a half away...thankfully, one of Rina's friend had a house key, and was able to stop by and get it.

We had an awesome weekend though, all in all! Saturday we were reallly busy, and of course, I get a head cold on Friday. Took alot fo medication to keep me upright, but we got through the weekend! We caught up with alot of family that Erik hasn't seen in about 10 years, and got to spend a good weekend away from technology (IE the computer mostly). The photography from the wedding came out beautifully, so I will try to post some photo's once they come back:)

So we are back to the norm today, minus the fact that I will not be doing a hole lot around the house today, mainly due to the fact that I am still trying tog et my head cleared from that bout of head cold or post nasal whatever it was that I got.

PICKLES!!!!!

2008-08-26T09:03:00.003-03:00

hehehehe.....Guess what I'm making??

yep, pickles. Dill pickles to be exact. first batch is in the canner, and the second is ready to go in! I have loved making this kinda stuff for a long time, my dad says I got that from my recently passed grandmother. She loved to make pickled beets, and dill pickles, and sweet pickles, and chow chow, until her hands got so arthritic that she couldn't close or open the lids anymore.

So far this year, I have made pickled beets, mustard pickles, and dills, and I'm hoping to get my sweet pickles done tonight or tomorrow, then I'm done for the season I think!

So, I have really, realllllllly great news, that came to a shock to me last night.

ready?

ok.

I am wearing jeans that I have not been able to fit into since before Tiana (my oldest) was born. I totally freaked out last night when I tried them on!! I'm still in total shock!! I haven't taken a size 16 in almost 5 years!!!! Guess I'm on a good track! Only 2 more pant sizes to go until I'm at my target!

Short and sweet today.

Chow!

The countdown begins...

2008-08-25T08:25:00.003-03:00

The countdown to my mother in laws wedding, that is.

I cannot wait for this to be OVER! She has to be the biggest bridezilla I have EVER met, and wants this to be done as frugal as possible, but still look classy and elegant, but she doesn't want it to be formal. Have you ever tried to pull that off?? Gahhh....not my idea of fun.

The guys in tuxedos, and the girls in whichever dress they have at home that they're comfortable in. The bride in a big ivory ballgown type wedding gown, but its not formal.

Not to mention the guest list has exploded, from 100 people, to a bit over 200.

Moving on......

So, today, I'm going to phone around to a few driver's Ed courses, to get rates, and all that jazz. I'm kinda excited to get moving! I'm also a little nervous, but I'm sure that will pass.

We have been discussing living arrangements and such for when Erik goes away to basic training, and I think we have all of our bases covered. If we stay here in freddy, but lose our apartment due to the sale of the building, we will rent storage, put all of our belongings in there, and stay with my mother and father in law to save money, until we get posted and have a PMQ.

But, if I decide to take the kids back to Saint john, thats ok too, because I can take the bus to freddy on the weekends to visit, or my mother in law said she would come and get me on fridays and bring me home on sundays.

I just wanna get things moving already! The only thing I'm afraid of, is that Erik will be away for christmas.

Thats all from me today. Have a good one!

Updated, finally....

2008-08-24T19:35:00.002-03:00

yes yes. here we go again.

I had a wonderful birthday! Alot fo strange and odd gifts, but it was completely wonderful! I recieved a lawn mower and a deep freezer from my mother in law, as well as a dozen pink long stem roses and a pink wallet from my husband. I also got taken out for dinner, it was really nice:)

My grampy is doing better, he was released from the hospital on the 16th. Hopefully, he doesn't go back in, but as he told me on my birthday, " I do this every year for nanny and I's anniversary", so, we will see.

What else has been happening?

I made all kinds of pickled beets and mustard pickles with Funky, had a good time with that. They turned out quite tasty too!

My dad came up a week ago to help with the bathroom demo, we had to pull out the old tub surround, and replace the drywall, because as I had suspected, there was a BIG mold issue back there. I'm really glad we have that cleaned up.

The biggest news of all.....

Erik has decided to join the military. He filed his papers on the 21st, and he goes for his first round of testing on september 9th. So, I am offically waiting to become a military wife! I'm scared, nervous, and excited for all of the things to come, but I know, things are going to be wonderful.

Another big piece of news is that I am going to be taking drivers ed, to get my liscense. We have about 900$ saved up, and we figured with Erik joining the military, its best that i get my liscense now, before he goes away for basic training. So, about 600$ of the money we have put away will go towards that, wish me luck!

The kids are growing like bad weeds...we noticed this the most over the weekend. We took a day trip to Bathurst to visit his grandmother, and aunts, and other family, and we didn't realize how much they had grown until we seen his grandmother. The last time she had seen Kallie was when she was just about to turn one, and now, she is 18 months. Tiana speaks so much clearer now, and Kallie is so much more independant.

Today, we took the kids on an "adventure", to a local farmers market, to see and feed all of the horses, and pigs, goats, and llamas. They has so much fun, and kallie even ventured out and pet a horse! I was so proud of her, she wasn't the slightest bit nervous.

From there, we headed to the Devon farm by my mother in laws house, and took the kids in to see the cows. The farmer there took the tractor out with some feed to bring some of the cows out of their group to show them, and then he took us inside to meet the baby cows, and the cat that also calls the farm home. We have alot of photos, and we were even invited back to watch the cows be milked sometime:)

I'll be trying to keep this more updated, I feel like i'm letting myself down for not writing!

Happy Birthday, and Happy Birthday it is!

2008-08-09T11:42:00.003-03:00

Happy Birthday to me!!!!

And thus far today, Happy, I am.

My grampy's health is improving, somewhat.

He is out of his coma, and still on oxygen. There is nothing they can do to help the 90% of his lungs that he has lost, but the other 10% is being treated for the infection he has, and alot of the fluid has come off of them. They expect him to be in the hospital another week or so, if things go well.

Thank God for that, I'm not ready to not have my grampy around!

I woke up this morning to a bouquet of pink long stem roses, and they're so beautiful!! If I can figure out the photo thing for this blog, I'll post pics, eventually. I have so many new pics to show off, but no idea how to load them here!!

Were leaving shortly for Saint john, to visit my grampy, and to pick up my mom. I'm hoping to sneak by and catch a glimpse of baby Cameron Murray today as well, we will see!!!

Hugs to everyone! Its my birthday!!!

Birthday Blues..

2008-08-07T12:41:00.002-03:00

So, my birthday is Saturday. I wish I could be happy about it.

Got bad news today....

my grampy is in the hospital, and he's not expected to make it much longer. They can't say days, or what, because the damage to his lungs is just too great.

I'm devastated. I don't know what to do with myself. I spent every day of my life, until I was 16 with my nanny and grampy, because my mom worked so much to pay bills to support me and my sister.

My favorite memories of my grampy, are sitting on the floor in the kitchen, in front my my grampy's favorite spot to sit, building castles out of the canned goods that were in the cupboard next to his chair.
My grampy would always share his favorite coffee ice cream with me, and his favorite maple leaf cookies.
We also shared a love of cucumbers. He would always buy me cucumbers, and even now, I grow cucumbers, and I send them to him.

my grampy is my rock. How quiet he would sit, until he had something smart -ass or witty to say. How much my girls love to go visit him, and see if he has any treats for them, which he always did.

How can I prepare myself, to not have one of the most important men in my life taken away?

Please God. I'm not ready.

My, how time flies....

2008-07-29T12:33:00.002-03:00

Yea, I know, I have been a slack writer, but what can I say? Time flies when your BUSY.

Work is great, I work with a bunch of awesome people! I can actually say, that I enjoy going to work every evening. Tonight is my first night working the desk alone, so we shall see how that goes. There is only a few things im unsure of, and I wrote myself a little "cheat" book last night at work, so this way, I have something to refer to if I don't remember what to do.

I have 1 day off this week, and 1 next week, and then a free weekend the weekend after that. Going to be a busy back to school prep month at the store, but I'm looking forward to it!

The Doc gave me 2 meds to take until she gets tests back, to see if there is a problem with my gall bladder. Im on one that reduces the amount of stomach acid you produce, and one that helps your body digest faster to keep food from sitting in your stomach and making your stomach feel heavy and nauseous. The acid one is a GODSEND! I haven't had to take tums, not even 1 in about 2 weeks.

best get back at it, just thought i would post a lil something while I had a few minutes!

Back to work!

2008-07-11T15:09:00.002-03:00

Today is day 2 at my new job.

Kinda odd how it all came about, but hey, i can't complain.

Dropped off a resume at this place on a whim, was driving around with my mother in law, and she said "hey, why don't you throw one in there??"

So I did.

I got a call the next morning for an interview at 2pm, and by 4:45, I was an employee. My official title is " Customer Care Specialist". I work for a local home supply store, called Canadian Tire, and i work at the epi-centre of the new store, in the customer care dept. I am responsible for all of the stores sinage, all of the stores deliveries, repairs, as well as directing customers where to go to find things, and making keys, and handling raincheques. Loads of fun though!

I had a wonderful time last night, I learned alot, but I wont be alone until middle of next week, which I'm glad about, because there are alot fo different screens to learn.

My birthday is coming, but not planning on doing a countdown this year. There is no point, since almost every year i am dissappointed for getting my hopes up for there to be something spectacular, or anything at all for that matter. So, this yr, I'm just going to let it roll by.

Happy dayz!

Been a busy, busy girl:)

2008-06-24T08:06:00.003-03:00

So, hey:)

things round here have been kinda busy, the last few weeks. Erik working, and doing stuff here at home, have kept us on our feet. We have been painting the outside of the house, taking it from a darker beige color, to a dark green. Once its done, it should be really nice:) We have a side and a half to go, then were done.

The heat here is unbelieveable. The humidity is even worse!!! My poor kiddies have been so hot, that its making to hard for us to sleep. Thinking maybe the kiddies will get their pool out today:)

So Friday, we added a new pet to our family. We bought a pet hermit crab:) I just love this lil girl!! As soon as she got into her crabitat (I know..funny haha) she moved into a new shell. I think she might be getting ready to molt, because she has become very lazy and hiding alot.
Trying to think on a name for her......

thats all i got for now:)

The hott is here!

2008-06-08T13:33:00.002-03:00

Wow, its a scorcher out there today!!!

Honestly, I beleve its the perfect temp to go swimming, but man, I don't think the lakes have been tested here yet to see if their safe to swim in. So, we resort to cool baths, ice cream, and freezies.

I must say I have enjoyed this somewhat quiet weekend at home. We haven't done much of anything this weekend, except for last night, I headed out for a few hours to have dinner with a few friends for Nikki's hubby randy's birthday. I wanted to stay for the band, but I knew I couldn't, just too much noise, and I felt like my head would have caved in from all the noise, I needed quiet last night. So, I was home around 9:30.

Today, we are cleaning up around the house, and watching a movie or 2, because its too damn hot to be outside. Well, the heat isn't the hard part, its the humidity. So, here I be:)

Hoping to head to Terry's house in a bit, to let the kids have a bit of a visit:)

Later dayz!

All is said and done

2008-06-06T08:36:00.002-03:00

What a terribly hard week this has been. But at the same time, it has been a beautiful week, full of tears, and full of laughter. Stories, some good, some bad, but all in all, it was a wonderful week, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Monday afternoon, we headed to Saint John, to see family that has started to trickle in Since my nanny passed away, June 1st. We spent the afternoon with my cousin Brian, his wife, Kris-Ann, and their kids, Grace and Evan. later that evening, my Cousin Richard, his wife, Kim, and their kids Devon and Jamie came over, and we had a few good laughs catching up with each other.

We headed home to Fredericton around 8 that night, and arrived in Fredericton at 11 pm.

Tuesday, we packed up early, and headed home to Saint John again, stopping to drop the kids at my moms, before heading to the funeral home for the family only visitation.

Without going into too many gory details, I'll just say that my nanny looked so at peace, in such a restful state. She looked as though the demons that had been eating away at her were ripped away, and left the nanny that I remember, in a peaceful, eternal slumber.

We drove home to Fredericton again, Tuesdany night, and got here around 11 pm.

Wednesday, we were in Saint john by noon, and this time, we packed for the night. We took my mom to the afternoon visitation, and my sister to the evening visitation. Those visitations seemed a bit easier for me. Not too many tears shed, but alot of funny nanny stories were told, and alot of memories were shared.

Thursday morning we were at the funeral home early for the funeral, which begain at 11. All fo the grandchildren carried flowers for each of us, and our children, and my dad, uncle and aunts flowers for themselves. they were all placed into a large vase, and my nannys husband placed a single lily at the end into the vase, for them. Reality started to sink in during the funeral, that I would not see my nanny again.

The hardest part of the day for me, was following her casket out fo the chapel, and watch as my cousins lifted her into the hearse. The only bouquet of flowers that were left on her casket, were the purple tulips I had placed on the top.

We followed the hearse to the cemetery, which was about 10 minutes from the chapel, on the other side of town. All i could do the entire way was cry, in pain, in sorrow, in sadness. I cried from the respect of other drivers, pulled over to a stop in respect for the dead passing by, I cried thinking about how she loved purple flowers. I. Cried.

At the cemetery, the ceremony was short and sweet. I held onto my aunt rhonda's hand so tight. I couldn't face the cemetery alone. Even though my husband was with me thorugh all of this, I needed my family. I cried like I have never cried in my life, wishing I could hear her voice one last time. To see her smile, or to hear her laugh.

We all placed our flowers from the ase at the funeral on her casket, as they lowered her down. We kissed her casket. Said the final goodbye.

But yet, I felt so guilty leaving her there all alone. I know that thats only her earthly remains, and I do find comfort in knowing that she is at peace, and in no more pain. But part of me, didn't want to leave her there.

Thats all I have in me to write at the moment, but will write again soon.

I know..........

2008-06-01T08:59:00.002-03:00

I am here once again.

wish it was with good news, but this is going to be a sad post.

My nanny died this morning, after a heart attack last night. I really don't know what to do with myself, what to think, how to think. I'm kinda numb.

Heading to Saint john either later today, or tomorrow morning, to meet up with all the family that I haven't seen in years, but I'm sad it has to be with such sad circumstances.

I know I know...

2008-05-09T09:59:00.002-03:00

I'm one helluva slack blogger....

But, here I be.

Since my last post, there has been a few new things that have happened.

For starters, Erik accepted a new position back on the army base, and he starts back on base on May 21st. they offered him 7$ an hour more than his current position, and a full 40 hours a week, where as he was being paid flat rate, only gettim around 30 hours a week. It will be so nice to have extra money to do things with!

Guess who got her driving permit again?? Yep....moi. I'm kinda looking forward to drivers training!!! Hoping to have my liscense by christmas at the latest.

My birthday is coming in August.....and I decided for my birthday, I deserve a vacation. Just me, no kids, no husband. Time for me. So, the last week of July, myself and Leata are going to fly to Toronto for 4 days, andd rive home with her aunt Peanut!!! I am so excited!!! I can't wait to go! First, I have NEVER been in a plane before, and second, I have NEVER been to such a big city before!!! I'm looking forward to sucking it all in!!!

The downside is that I have never been away from my kids before, not even for one night, so that is going to take some toll on me I'm sure, but I know that Erik and his mom will have everything under control. Rina is going to take a day or 2 off to stay with the kids while erik is at work, and then erik will take a day or 2 off to stay home with them.

So...ummm..what else??

oh yes.

I went to see WWE in Saint John, on May 4th.

All I can say...is....oh...my......GAWD!!!!! That Dave Batista is even more fine in person!!!! What a great show they all put on, i was impressed! I got tons of pictures, but, of course, I don't know how to put pictures on this thing, so if you have Facebook, drop me a line or leave me a comment, and I will direct you where to go!!!

I started planting my veggies for my garden this year, and so far, alot fo things are growing!! I'm a little scared that my plants are going to be too big for the starter pods soon, so I am hoping to get them in the ground this weekend.

I'll try to come around here more often.....got loads if catching up to do!

1st of the season!

2008-04-15T12:16:00.002-03:00

Tonight will mark our first BBQ of the season.....sorta.

You see, I have an indoor grill, but it throws off so much heat and smoke, that you have to have it pretty much outside your front door to use it. So, tonight, I'm making shrimp lollipops ( kinda like skewers, but on tooth picks, curled around each other), and the basic hamburgers, and hot dogs, a few baked potatoes, and possibly some type of pasta salad. I. Can't. Wait! :)

Tiana's birthday went really well on Sunday:) She made a definate BFF in Lolita's friend Chelsea's soon to be step daughter, Jenna. They laughed, and played for 3 solid hours. Tiana was exhausted I think, from so many surprises. She got balloons, and a tinkerbell cake, and loads and loads of wonderful presents!

Oh..btw Terry, she absolutely loves those word puzzles you got her!!! She wont leave them for 5 minutes!!

Yesterday was lolita's birthday, and it was a nice day for her, i think. She recieved a basket of really nice flowers from her mom for her birthday, as well as an unexpected Chocolate brownie cake from our friend Nikki. We had a really good dinner at Pizza Delight with Nikki, kate, 2 of kates friends, Chelsea, Dallas, Peggy, matt, and chelseas mom. There was alot fo fun convo's, and at the end, that AWESOME cake!

so far, its been a good start to the week:)

Tiana's Birthday weekend!

2008-04-12T15:21:00.002-03:00

Yea...thats right. My lil' girl will be 4 on Sunday.

Sigh.

I don't know if I'm ready, but I'm pretty much outta time, so, yea, I'll put on my big girl panties, and deal with it.

Last night was a rockin' night!! Funky, his mom Marg, His dad Joe, and our friends Nikki and Randy went to Saint john to see Larry The Cable Guy on tour. OMG, it was hilarious!!! If i can get Terry to fiddle a bit here thorugh the week, I may get a few pics of the event up here. I don't think Nikki and I have ever laughed so much, our bellies were sore from laughing!!

We got home around midnight, and it took me about an hour or so to settle down enough to go to sleep. Was up pretty early today and out the door to go buy last minute things for Tiana's Tinkerbell party. All thats left to do is the big clean of the house, and setting up tomorrow, and we are good to go!! I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens tomorrow:)

Anyway, not a long post, but its something. bout to head over to my mother in laws for dinner, as today is my soon to be sister-in-laws birthday:)

I'll leave you all with this littel diddy from larry the cable guy:

ya'll know what sounds like a dirty word but isn't??

Juice box.....

hahaha...

Ahhh.....spring-ish....

2008-04-01T08:21:00.002-03:00

You ever get that feeling like winter is never going to end??

Yea...I really don't think it will. Right now, we still have about 4-5 feet of snow outside. it snowed again last night.

Here I am, waiting very impatiently to start sowing my veggie garden ( i start them indoors, better turn out this way for me), but I'm holding back, because I really can't say that they will be planted in 4-6 weeks like they should be. Once the frost is gone, I still need to turn and fertilize my garden, as well as weed out any of the runt plants once they are sown. Sigh....

But I definately can't wait to do my garden! I had such an amazing turn out from it last year, that I have big expectations for this years as well.

Other than that, not a hole lot going on. Trying to clear out the remainder of the easter junk that we have here, so we can get back on track with getting some weight off. I have been doing well, but having all this crap here is making it hard. So, all those remaining easter bunnies?? All being melted down into peanut butter cups, for Erik to take to work with him tomorrow.

Tiana will be 4 in 12 days. Sigh....12 days!!!!!! My beautiful girl is going to be 4. She already has big dreams for herself growing up. You know what she wants to be when she grows up??

A hot dog.

I. Kid. You. Not.

Time for me to start thinking about schools for her, and to slowly start purchasing supplies for her. Its all coming so fast. hmm......I wonder how home schooling works???

I kid, I kid.

I look forward to hearing the stories of " mommie!! guess what I did in school today!!!" , or " look what I made in school today!"

Anyhoo, i best get going to the thing I do best...you guessed it, housecleaning.

later days!

Remember me?

2008-03-14T11:46:00.002-03:00

Tis I, your friendly neighbor hood Floobie.

Hi.

Its been a while. Where to begin?

Ahhhh, yes, the dreaded cold. My. God. The flu this yr is a doozy...I was sick for 10 days straight. 10. 1-0. It sucked. Fever, chills, coughing, running nose. Sigh...i went through 4 rolls of Charmin TP in 2 days on my poor nose. Neo citran didn't do much, and neither did the sinus meds that my mother in law bought for me. I felt like death.

But, I'm good now:)

Lesseee.....still haven't found the cord for my digital cam to get Kallie's first b-day pics up. I have been tearing this place apart to find it, and its still hiding.

Were planning a birthday party for Tiana. She is going to be 4 on April 13th. Sigh...why do they grow so fast?? I'm not ready for her to be 4. 3 was hard enough.

Tax season has come and gone for Erik, and now I just need to have mine done. It comes in handy to have a father in law who is an accountant.

Ooohh...big news guys!!!

Speaking of the fact that my FIL is an accountant, he will be opening a Fredericton office of Caushman and Whitfield. We have been talking, and he has asked me to take some basic book keeping training, so that he can have a book keeper (moi) take over some of his clientele that he already has, as well as giving me some secretarial work a few days a week to start!! I am super excited, because I have always know that I would have a career in office work. I'm alittle nervous, because i have been playing around wtih simply accounting, and it isn't sinking in as fast as it should be, but I'm sure i'll get it all soon:)

Other than that, not a hole lot of other stuff going on here. My friend Lolita( the one staying with me for school) has decided that she is not going to be moving when school is done in may(*sigh*) because she will be opening a "store" downtown in the barracks for the summer, as well as a job offer she has accepted from the store where she teaches beading classes that will pay her a good amount of money. We will see how this goes!!

Planning for my mother in laws upcoming August wedding is going ok, I'm still having a hard time picking out a gown to wear though. I'm not a dress person, so this is especially hard for me. I wish i could wear a pantsuit, and just be done with it all!!!

anyhoo....I'm out for now!!

I

2008-03-03T13:11:00.002-04:00

am still here.

At the moment, I am really sick, and it really, really, sucks. My throat feels like I swalloed a porcupine, backwards. I can't stop coughing, and my chest is killing me. Sigh...I hate being sick.

The last few weeks have gone pretty well, but nothing really exciting has happened, except for me purchasing tickets to a WWE event being held in Saint john on May 4th :) I definately can't wait for that:D

Typical tax season stuff going on, and I'm going crazy because according to Sobeys, I should have had my T4 slip like 2 weeks ago, and I have yet to recieve them.

Got bills coming out my ears, and looking forward to a free paycheque to clear them all. You know, the usual everyday stuff!!

Well, short but sweet this time, but can't help it, I also have 2 sick children. I will be back again shortly!

Happy Birthday

2008-02-13T10:06:00.000-04:00

Happy 1st Birthday Kallie!!!!!!

Birthdays, galore!

2008-02-12T08:44:00.000-04:00

First off, I am alive. not divorced, not beat, nada.

I survived Erik's 30th Birthday party...LOL. He was shocked, and i kept hearing that he was going to kick my ass, but in the end, no beating ever came! He was most surprised by the fact that his grandmother came down from Bathurst, which is a 3 hour drive from where we are, each way. Keep in mind, this woman is almost 90 years old.

She doesn't drive herself anymore, thank god, but Erik's uncle has taken up the task of being with her the majority of the time, even going so far as to run his business from home. They really are amazing people, and to Erik, there is no woman who goes before his grandmother.

Thats why it was all the more special when he walked in the door, and saw his grandmother. I so ROCK! I think i'm pretty darn close to winning wife of the yr award..LOL...

All in all it was a good day, spent with a few close friends and family. Mission Impossible? Check!

The rest of the weekend was spent pretty much puttering around the house, playing World of Warcraft, and cleaning.

Monday was a lazy day, I was still wiped from all the activities over the weekend.

Today will be spent cleaning up after comapny last night, and making a plan for what to do for kallie's birthday tomorrow.

Sigh.....my baby will be 1 tomorrow. Damn the last yr has flown by. After her birthday, my other baby, Tiana, will be 4 on April 13th. School in a little over a yr for her. my god...where does time go???

anyhoo....that's all for now!

D-Day Saturday

2008-02-07T10:08:00.000-04:00

So, here we are. my last scheming day before my surprise party for Erik on Saturday.

I ordered his cake this morning, and tomorrow I will pick up any last minute thigs while we are out and about getting groceries.

I don't know if I'm ready for this, but, what can ya do. LOL. I have no clue who is coming. No clue how many to expect. All we know is its happening.

The last week has been spent emailing, and confirming, and making more plans for Saturday, to get this ready to pull off. I think I have everything worked out.

What else is new....well, I went to the Surgeon for my toes again this morning. Its a possibility that I will need to have the same foot done again. Which kinda sucks, but meh, what can ya do.

Kallie's first Birthday is Wednesday. Sigh....she grew so quick!!!!

Not much else going on......I will let you all know how the birthday thing goes!!

Ahhhhhh.....that's better.

2008-01-31T08:33:00.000-04:00

So, I haven't really posted about much of anything lately, just because, I guess.

Went on Monday and had a root canal. Now I feel so much better! No more headaches, or toothaches! Tuesday and Wednesday I felt rather blah....wasn't really up for alot, other than puttering around the house, cleaning up dishes, and the usual toy mess that kids leave behind.

Today, I feel rather refreshed, and have already started to tackle the house, getting all the laundry done, and scrubbing from top to bottom. I don't want to have to do much cleaning this weekend, if i don't have to, because its Superbowl weekend :)

Were expecting a few guests on Sunday to watch the Superbowl, and i'm expecting there will be a few friendly bets placed on the game. All in all, it should be a good time:)

My mom might make an appearance up here as well tomorrow night or Saturday morning.

Should be an interesting weekend:)

I've been tagged:)

2008-01-24T09:35:00.000-04:00

So, Jero tagged me with this me me thing.....I guess I am supposed to list 6 things about me, weird quirks, habits, that sorta thing.

Lets give this a try, shall we?

1. I'm a germophobe. I look at everything, and I see bacteria and stuff crawling, yuck, makes me almost queasy. Not a good thing with 2 small kids.

2. I bite my finger nails when I am anxious, nervous, or just plain stresssed out. This happens often.

3. I am ready to admit that I am addicted to a computer game *sigh*. I have been playing World Of Warcraft online with my husband since October of last yr, and I really, really, really enjoy it.

4. I love salty foods. Some days, the more salt, the better.

5. I love pistachios. OMG, yumm. But holy hell, expensive!

6. I slouch. alot. I really need to get back into Pilates.

How'd I do, Jess?? man, its hard to try to think of 6 things about yourself!

Who to tag, who to tag. I dunno, I may just leave it open for who ever feels like doing it to take up. I'm changin the rules!

All Moved, and settled, sorta.

2008-01-17T11:32:00.000-04:00

Here we be. All moved into our new apartment, about a 5 minute drive from our old building.

There is still somethings were trying to get used to, the first one being that we only have 1 neighbor, not 48. We only have 1 door to unlock before we get into the house, instead of the 2 security locked doors we used to have. There are also alot of creaks and stuff from this place being an older building, and in the old place, there wasn't much of anything.

But, all in all, I love it here. Its open, its spacious, and I actually have a dining room, and a kitchen that separate from my living room. Tiana and Kallie love their new room, with the bright purple walls, and the fairies all over the walls. The only room left to situate is our beddroom, and that will be done before the weekend is over. I just want to have the rest of the house comfortable before we focus on our room, we can really sleep whether there are a few boxes or not.

On Saturday, Erik and I are going to give our storage room an overhaul. Our new landlady (Janet) is going to come and remove alot of the odds and ends she had left here from repairs, and that way, we can actually use the space.

The first night here was rough for Tiana. Our old apartment was the only home she ever remembered, so she cried to go home alot the first night. But I think she is starting to understand that home is where her mommy, daddy, and baby sister is. She's doing alot better now, and she is dying for the next big snow storm to come, to give our new backyard a good go for a snowman!

Tomorrow's the big day...

2008-01-11T18:11:00.000-04:00

...moving day, that is.

I'm pretty sure that were just about ready. Erik's gone to drop some more stuff off, and my mom, sister, her bf, and one of her kids are at the moment on the highway here.

Tomorrow, Two of Erik's friends from work will be here, as well as one of the greatest friends ever, the one and only Funky Cowboy. Should be an interesting day. Were paying people with pizza's and beer. LOL. the only way to be paid.

I'm a little stressed out at the moment, and I'm also about ready to murder my mother in law, but thats another story, for another day.

Wish us luck!

4 days to go....

2008-01-08T15:59:00.000-04:00

Well, folks, i think were finally ready for this massive production that is moving. my sister is coming up with her bf to help us move saturday (sorry ahead of time terry.....we will keep the fireball cold for you, lord knows, you may need it) and my mom is coming as well for child control. I need to be at the new apartment Saturday, as we have the phone company, and cable/internet company coming to hook us up. Keepin my fingers crossed that Erik's friends show up to help.

Oh, did I forget to mention that we don't have a truck yet? Yea....were working on that. Hopefully we will know for sure tonight whether or not we need to rent one.

So far, almost all of the house is packed, except for the bathroom( not much to do there) and the kids room. The kids room is simple enough though, as all the toys have their specific places to be ( toy boxes, various hampers, etc).

I'm looking forward to moving, but then again, i'm not. We still have to put a second coat of paint on 2 of the bedrooms, and I need to give the place a good clean through. God willing, I will get it all done.

So, i don't know if I have told you all, but my mother in law is getting married this coming August. As in like 7 months from now. And she has designated me as the wedding planner. How much do you think is prepared?? NADA. Yep. That's right. Nothing. She shares her plans with everyone except me, the wedding planner.

The cake she has booked. I didn't have a clue. I have no guest list. I have no dress designs. I have no color scheme. I have no decor ideas. I know she has the catering taken care of, but no clue what ppl are eating. No invitations picked out, no flowers picked out. NOTHING.

Did I mention that this is an Acadian wedding?? For those of you who don't know much about Acadians, we are French people who are born or raised typically on the eastern coast of Canada. They are a very special group of people, who, when something needs to be celebrated, like a wedding, it really gets CELEBRATED. Acadian weddings are typically very large in size. But, at this point, I have absolutely no clue as to how many people to expect, or how many to invite.

Well, I best get back to cleaning. Later days!

The move is on!

2008-01-07T09:24:00.000-04:00

So, over the weekend, we managed to paint almost the entire new apartment. All we have left to do is 1 wall in Lolita's room, and our bedroom. That should all be completed tonight if we head down there, were not sure if we are going to go paint tonight or not. We still have a ton of packing, and were going to be moving this coming weekend, we decided on Saturday.

Can't say we don't love a challenge. LOL.

Personally, I think were a little nuts, but hey, I am looking forward to having an organized and clean home again!! This place is so cluttered with all of the boxes around, and you really don't know how much stuff you have until you move. Jeez man, I don't think we will ever get to the end.

I'll attempt to post again before the weekend, but if not, wish us luck!

It never ceases to amaze me....

2008-01-03T13:46:00.000-04:00

............Just how smart my children are.

As I sit here typing this, my soon to be 11month old (on jan 13th) is playing with out cat's carrier (we dug it out while packing for our big move). She stands there, opens the door to it. Takes our tv remote, places it inside the carrier, and closes the door. Then, she opens the door, takes it back out, and closes the door again. She has been doing this for about 20 minutes now, and she seems so curious as to how the door moves, trying to figure out teh mechanics of it all. She is defiantely going to be a girl who likes puzzles.

Last night we got the keys to our new apartment, and tonight begins the big paint. We agreed to paint the apartment, and the landlord agreed to waive our first months rent for doing so. We got to choose the colors, and she pays for the paint, so why not? I love to paint, and personally, I can't wait to get started tonight!!! We are going to be moving in the weekend of jan 25th, so hopefully, we don't have a huge delay with our internet services. I'm going to take before and after pics, and if I can figure out how to post them on here, I will share them with you!

This afternoon I am off to the foot surgeon yet again, the problems with this toe seem to never end. Lets hope she can figure something out today.

Have a good one!

Alot has happened....

2007-12-28T10:42:00.000-04:00

In the last few weeks.

How was your christmas?? Mine was very busy, and stressful. But, we made it through ok, and the kids were spoiled. Ate way too much turkey, but DAMN, it was so good.

Christmas eve we spent the night at my MIL's house with the kids, and had a pre-christmas party. I drank more in that night that I have since before BOTH of my kids were born, but hey, Momma finally got a chance to break free:). We played a game of Gender Gap, and me and my MIL gave the boys the whoopin they so badly needed.

We went to bed late, and got up early, but thats how it goes with 2 small ones in the house. We ate brekky, opened loads of presents, and packed up and headed home, to open even more presents.

Popped the torkey into the oven, and dozed for most of the mid morning/ early afternoon, till the Turkey was done. It was an early night to bed, lemme tell you.

Boxing Day was spent in SJ with my mom, and more presents. Now, I don't know where I'm putting anything. Tis the season, eh?

So, Guess who got/is getting a new comp for christmas???

Yep. Moi.

Hubby got tired of mine turning on and off by itself, and freezing and crashing all the time, so he bought me a new comp for christmas. Were just waiting for delivery, which should be any day now.

So yesterday, We went to look at an apartment with our fingers crossed, hoping that it would turn out to be a good deal for us. Well, God came through, and were MOVING!!! We found a cute little 3 bedroom apartment thats about 30 yrs old, with only 1 other apartment, downstairs of us. We will save roughly 400$ a month on rent and power. We also get to paint the place in whatever colors we like. The landlady seems to be a really nice person, and the ppl downstairs ( from what I have heard) are really nice as well. So, hopefully, with all things going right, we should be in there the last week of Jan. !

will keep you all posted on the goings on........Wishing all of you a wonderful New year (if im not posting b4 then!)

Howdie ya'll, its been a minute!

2007-12-17T14:19:00.000-04:00

Heh.

How's it going?

So, the Surgery went well. Only got one foot done instead of both, but she really felt the other one was healed enough that it didn't need to be fixed.

Wanna read a play by play of what happened??

here ya go.......

So we get there around 11:25 am for my scheduled 11:30 surgery appt. I don't go in until 12.

I stil in this HUGE chair, and the Doc looks at my gross lookin toes...errr....toe, since she only did one. SHe attempts to topically numb my skin so that the needles wont be so bad......but the freezing doesn't work.

I feel both pokes.

They both SUCKED.

Finally, after the most painful 2 needles poked I have ever experienced (and those of you who have known me a while, know that I have been through 2 c-sections, both with spinal blocks, 1 c-section I almost died in) my toes is completey numb. Like, poking it with a needle and not feeling or even knowing you were poked numb.

She gets out her tray of tools, and slides the tray over my lap, and drapes a huge cloth from it so i can't see what she is doing.

I go into panic mode, and start to hold my breath, while Erik, who is sitting next to the Doc eating a bag of popcorn...ok..he was wishing he was eating popcorn tells me everything's ok, and to relax and breathe.

She wraps one of those rubber bands that they use to wrap around your arm when you give blood around my big toe on my left foot, and she wraps it tight, to stop any bleeding.

I feel what my brains thinks is scratching, only it isn't painful. Here she is using the scalpel to cut a thin line down my toenail, to the left side of my toe. That fold of skin that covers the side of your toenail?? She does a vertical cut along there in my nail, so that you can't tell there isn't a nail.

Then the scariest and most nerve racking part of the entire thing.

I hate 3 loud snaps. She slid a pir of surgical scissors UNDER my toenail, and cuts along the incision. In my head I'm screaming "this hurts!! Doesn't it?? its supposed to hurt!! Arrgghhh!!!!!"

She the applies slight pressure, and pop, a piece of nail, that is roughly 7 mm wide, and an inch long comes out. She lays it on the tray in front of me, and says that shes done.

All she has to do is apply a chemical to my nail bed( where your nails form) so that that section of nail never grows back. That stuff stinks, and burns. She undoes the turniquette (rubber band thingy) and cleans out the wound. She stuffs gauze thats soaked in a gel antibiotic (the entire point of the surgery was a bad infection ), and wraps me up to go.

She cleans up the other toe, and were ready to roll.

I walk into the lobby, and the receptionist (some guy), shouts" you made it!" LOL. HE knew me too well.

I feel great today, barely any pain at all now. There was slight pain thursday afternoon once it was all unfrozen, and a bit of pain Friday, but other than that, I'm pretty good. I just hate having my toe all bandaged up. I'll have to deal with that for a few more days, but after that, were ready to roll.:)

I lived!

Today is D Day!!!!

2007-12-13T09:26:00.000-04:00

I'm off to surgery in about an hour...

I'm kind of nervous, but excited at the same time. I'm nervous cause it is surgery, but I'm excited because after the healing process, I will NEVER have to worry about this issue with my toes again. I already purchased my first pair of high heels to wear post surgery, and I'm looking forward to being able to wear them.

I should be home about 2 hours after surgery is done, and If I'm feeling up to it, I may post to update you all as to how things went.

Talk to you all soon!!!

Argh....

2007-12-10T10:06:00.000-04:00

Here I be...LOL...channelling a bit of pirate there.

So, hows it goin?

Things are ok here. My neveres are all shot cause of the emotions over my upcoming surgery...3 days and counting!!! I'm excited, but I'm nervous, and I'm a bit scared. I know it will all be ok though.

Right now the rush is on cleaning the house really good, and keeping it kept up till thursday, cause after that, I can't walk for 3 days. I'm planning on getting to know my bed really, really good during those 3 days...:)

So Kallie now has 7 teeth. yep, 7. She will be 10 months old the day of my surgery. Sigh, they grow to quick.....but for now, I will enjoy smooching those chubby cheeks. :)

Tonight, Erik write his exams for his Canadian Firearm license. Him and my soon to be Father In Law took the course together. They have a bet, whoever gets the highest marks buys the other dinner.....we will see what happens!!!

anyhoo, I'm out. Got me a hankering for some rocky road, and I'm going to make a huge batch. :)

Later Days:)

Surgery

2007-11-30T13:41:00.000-04:00

Saw the specialist this morning.....and its official. Surgery. Which I knew...LOL....

I go in for my toes to be permanently fixed on December 13th. 13 days and counting!!!

Not nervous, not scared. I'm flippin excited!!! I'll finally get to wear cute shoes ( after healing is finished, of course) for once!!!

Gunna cost me 350$, but hey, i'll never have to worry about this again.

I'm a happy girl!

Well......

2007-11-29T07:54:00.000-04:00

That lasted long!! LOL.

I think it took a de-lurked commenter to make me realize that just because it seems boring to me, someone else just may be interested on how things are. Thx Georgia:)

So, here's where we stand right now.

In terms of the move thing, we have ruled out NewFoundLand for now, unless a job opportunity comes up fo Erik. Right now, He's actually looking to see if there is a position available at a car dealership in Saint John, so we could move home to Saint John. We will see what happens:)

The kids are kids. Tiana talking way too loud, and way too much, driving me absolutely crazy. Everything somehow seems to be centered around Santa right now....can't seem to figure out why....LOL....

Kallie is whipping around this house like she owns the place!! She's crawling, and has been since she was 7 months old, and she's walking around holding onto things, like walls, furniture, etc. She says momma, dada, and baba...and her laugh..omg, its the cutest laugh ever....hehe.

Erik's work christmas party for work is on the 8th of December, at a restaurant called The Back Nine, here in Downtown Fredericton. Should be nice:)

So, It seems lately that I'm back to my toe woes. As you may or may not know, I have inherited an ingrown nail condition (if this is too much info for you, then turn back now...) that has been really bad for me for about 4 years now. I can't wear any type of nice shoe, cause they all put too much pressure on my badly infected and swollen big toes. So, for the last few years, I have been foreced to survive canadian winters wearing flip flops, or those crocs shoes.

In February of 2006, I had one of my nails removed after I conveniently whacked my poor gross toe on the corner of a wall at my mother in laws house. It seems that 3 years of prior infection treatment, every prescription available to treat that particular infection, was nothing but a waste of my money, because I had built up an immunity to them. SO, I whacked my toe, the Doc damn near jumped when he seen how bad the infection was, and he removed it thankfully. I was just as happy as the days my children was born to have my toe not hurt for a while.

Now, both of my big toes are infected again, and I have been put through numerous hoops to try to get something done to relieve the pain that they cause me. Its worse now than ever before though, because I'm working, standing on my feet for hours at a time, and the pressure causes my toes to bleed, and by the time I got home from work, my socks were soaked in blood.

Finally I get a referral to a surgeon from my new family Doc, and I haven'theard from his office, and its been 2 months...so I call to see whats up, and where things are...and she said I wouldn't be able to get in for a year and a half!!! His waiting list was another year and a half in front of me. I can't and wont live with my feet like this much longer, so I told them to forget it.

I called our local podiatrist. and I go to see her tomorrow morning at 10! It may cost me 55$ per visit, but I don't care, it should only take 2 or 3 visits at the most to have my consult, and the procedures to remove the nails. Please keep your fingers crossed for me!!

The last thing I think I'll blog about today...is the fact that I have an addiction.

My addiction is to.......a Online game. I'm addicted to playing World Of Warcraft.

What has my husband done to me?? Online computer games are his thing.....but now we have something we can do together that we both enjoy doing! I know, I'm a geek...as my friends say...LOL....

Anyhoo, hope you are all having a wonderful day today!

I'm going to be MIA for a bit....

2007-11-27T10:39:00.000-04:00

And I don't know when I'll be back.

Seems that the last few weeks I haven't really found much to talk about, other than the same old everyday stuff, and I find that to be a pretty boring blog post day after day.

Things here are going good. Kallie's getting smarter everyday, and Tiana, is well, Tiana. Erik's plenty busy at his new job, and I have finally just got back to work after being out of work for a month from issues with my ingrown toe's.

I go to see a podiatrist on Friday to hopefully have my issues resolved with my toes, but it may take a trip or two. Hopefully, the end with the toe issues is near, I'm tired of wearing ugly, flat shoes all the time.

Anyhoo, when My life perks up a bit, and were a bit more interesting, I'll be back. I'm still keeping tabs on all of you that I read though, I like to keep up on everyone:)

Big changes ahead...

2007-11-14T14:00:00.000-04:00

Ooooh boy..where to start.

At this moment, I am excited and nervous beyond belief. There are a few reasons.

The first being the entire weight loss situation. I have been trying to get my butt back in gear, but for me, if I don't have someone to do it with, or have someone that I need to check in with periodically, I can't stay on track. I always cave, and it makes me feel terrible.

BUT. I just got a call from LA Weight Loss (whom I had had a consultation with a few months ago and could not afford the almost 1000$ program), offering me a full year of as much weight off as I wanted for....drumroll.....$189. I was completely in shock. She had told me on the phone that this is a sale they have starting on monday, and our local chapter is calling all of the people who had had consults but couldn't afford to join at that time before they start advertising.

My appointment to start is Monday at 6pm. I'm freaking out.

Hey Tinacious......watch out...I'm coming for that prize:P

The other thing that has had me a little excited but nervous has been the fact that were contemplating a HUGE move. As in a few provinces over, huge. Were actually considering relocating to St Johns, Newfoundland. NOw, I know, its a huge step to take, considering we don't have a clue about anything work wise for Erik down there, or how we would move our stuff, to apartments, etc., but we really feel that we are in need of a huge change, to a place where there isn't alot of outside interference from family. I really need support of friends more thane ver right now, and I know more people in StJohns, NFLD, than I do here in Fredericton, NB.

Nothing is said in stone, but its something we are thinking about.

anyway, just wanted to check in, and I had to get things off my chest. Hopefully, I can calm my nerves today a bit.......I'm so excited!!!

She may be a trainwreck....

2007-11-09T16:04:00.000-04:00

but DAMN! she makes a good cd...LOL.

Yes, I'm talking about Britney. I hate the woman, I think she is a disgusting excuse of a woman, and she makes mothers all over the world look bad from the bullsiht she has been pulling. Like they say, it only takes one bad apple for the hole bunch to be screwed. I think that her babies are better off with their father, than with a woman who struts around the house naked and expects everyone who works for her to act like nothings wrong.

But on the other hand, she does know how to make people talk about her, and she does know what she's doing when it comes to music, most of the time.

My first love is music, anything you can dance to. I was raised as a dancer, doing hip hop, and R&B kinda dancing. I absolutely adore Timbaland, he is amazing. He really knows how to make stuff that you can get your dance on to.

But this album is a complete shock to me. I really did not expect to like this, and I kinda expected it to be crap, to politely put it. I was shocked when I bought it, and put it on, you can get a really good groove on to the entire thing!!! Keep in mind the majority of the lyrics are about her being famous, and always being judged, but hey, she is in it for attention.

I also purchased Rihanna - Good Girl Gone Bad, and Timbaland - Shock Value. Both, which so far, aren't disappointing in anyway. I LOVE the song The Way I are. I LOVE Umbrella, and Shut up and Drive.

Things are starting to look up. This diet thing has been crap, I haven't been able to stick with it, mostly due to lack of motivation. But, I'm back on track now, and rearing to go. I'm actually in the process of finding my pilates DVD's, and I'll be rockin it out hardcore by Monday. Baby's gunna be fine come spring time!!

annnnnndddddd.....

2007-11-07T12:09:00.001-04:00

I'm back. Kinda.

How's things been?

Here things have been ok. Still outta work...damn toe.

Right now I'm nursing a retardedly wicked headache. I have a ton of stuff to do around here, but I don't want to move to do anything. My kids are in one of those kinda moods too, which is making things harder.

Been struggling with the weight loss thing as of late, I just can't seem to get recentered and focused on the target ahead of me. I'm working on that was well.

anyhoo, once the fog lifts from my brain, I'll post again. For now, this will hafta do.

I'm such a blog-slacker.....

2007-10-30T08:01:00.000-03:00

So here I am. I know its been a bit more than a week, but I just couldn't find the time or energy to blog.

Here we are, on the day before Halloween. Should wind up to be an interesting day/night tomorrow, with hte kids getting all spooked up an' stuff.

The last few days haven't been too great....My doc put me out of work again, this time for 3 weeks due to this damn infection in my foot again.....she also referred me to a surgeon for my toe, and put me on meds again. Kallie also got a prescription for a cream....she has had this nasty rash on her chest that she wont stop scratching. Hopefully the cream works fast, poor babykins got her chest looking somethin bad.

Its going to be a good month money-wise for us. This is a 3 pay period for Erik, plus my income(which wont be alot), plus family allowance, plus the $500 we won on sports line, plus Eriks 2000$ pension contribution refund. Its going to be nice to have all our stuff caught up and cleared up so we can focus our funds into eventually buying a house and getting set for christmas.

Not a hole lot else to tell, so I wish ya'll a Happy Halloween!!!

Back to the grind

2007-10-22T07:58:00.000-03:00

Here we are, Monday yet again.

How's it goin?

I had a pretty decent weekend, except for the fact that I worked Saturday, and it was NUTS. Made the day go by extremely fast. The rest of saturday was spent getting groceries, and getting Tiana from Erik's mom's house. We got them home, bathed and put into clean pajama's, and it was bed time before we knew it.

Sunday we spent in Saint John visiting my mom, nanny, and grampy. It was nice to spend some time with my nanny and grampy, I haven't seen them since August. My nanny made Kallie the most adorable pink sweater, hat and mitts. SHe's just getting teh zipper into the sweater, and we will get it next time we are in town.

We also went and did quite a bit of shopping on Sunday, getting the kids a few much needed outfits. We also found the most adorable halloween costume for Kallie. she's going to be.........drumroll please..........a baby cow. LOL. Its a little jogging suit, thats in cown print, and the hoodie sweater has little ears and horns, and a tail attached to it. On the belly, it says " I'm udderly adorable". If I can somehow figure out how to post pics on this here blog, I'll do that....but as of right now, I have no g*ddamn clue.

We went and picked out 2 really nice pumpkins to carve later in the week, and we also picked up a few groceries, that we just happened to forget in my moms deep freeze. We also hit up the best bakery in the city, and brought home loads of goodies!!!

Later in the afternoon I managed to sneak out for a long walk with Lolita, and we went and got a coffee and just sat uptown in Brunsiwck Square for a bit, talking. We waited for her mom to get off of work ( She's head of housekeeping for the Delta Hotel) and we walked back to Lolita's house and got her bag. We walked down the hill to my moms house, and loaded up teh car for the drive home. We got on the road, and were home just after 7pm, with no deer or moose in sight thank god.

Now, I'm in the process of a million loads of laundry ( so it seems) and I think my carpets need a good vacuuming today. other than that, I don't think I'm going to do much, possibly go to walmart to pick up a few things tonight.

How was your weekend?

ummmm...

2007-10-18T09:58:00.000-03:00

Couldn't think of a title...LOL.

So, yea, I have been a little bored. Well, not sitting around bored, just bored with doing the same thing every day. I'm in the process of cleaning out my storage room, there is alot of old clothes from the girls that I really don't want to keep sitting in my small storage room when there are more important things that could go in there.

I have spent the majority of the last 2 days I have had off work cleaning my house, and cooking, and getting my self in gear for my christmas baking. Every year, I bake, ALOT for christmas. Last year, I made 20 dozen short bread cookies, 15 dozen gingerbread cookies, and probably about 6 or 7 dozen rice crispie squares. Lets just say my husband was a very happy man. I didn't eat any of these things, cause I was pregnant, and while I was pregnant for Kallie, I couldn't eat alot of sweets. So, basically, I was the baker.

I got a good head start for my christmas shopping, so I think I'll be able to find time to bake alot more this year. I usually send my baking to people as gifts for the holidays, so we will see what I can do this year:)

Other than the usual cleaning, I really haven't been doing much. Back to work tonight though, and the weekend will shortly be upon us!

Relatively screwed....

2007-10-15T13:26:00.000-03:00

So, I haven't talked about it in a while, but were in a bit of a bind. Well, i'd call it more than a bind, I'd say were more or less screwed.

Erik did start a new job, yes, that is a good thing, the problem is that it pays like 5$ an hour less than his old job. SO, we have less income coming in. But, my pay check will make up for the 5$ an hour he loses, so thats not bad. My income used to be "catch up " income, and we don't have that anymore.

We are so far behind in things, that I can't see a way out. We haven't paid our rent for October yet, and we should have November's pretty well together. We have about 600$ in bills that need to be paid, plus a car that needs to be fixed to pass inspection. We also have prescriptions that need to be filled, and a baby thats growing so fast that she needs mroe clothes.

I just don't know what to do. I have a ton of free time while I'm at home in the day, but I don't have the money to take the damn class that I need to start doing PT bookkeeping from home. I wont dare look into a "make money from home" site, cause those are all gimmicks. I just don't know what to do.

God, if your reading or hearing this, if you could allow a few things to be easier before christmas, we would be ever so grateful:

A new apartment that is cheaper, but it isn't a crack house....
A way out of our debt...

All I want if for my kids to be safe and warm. I don't care about my self. I don't want anything for me. I just want to know that my kids are going to be warm, safe, and fed. God, if you can help out with any of these situations, we would appreciate everything so much.

I hate being backed into a dead end. I hate that my husband is so god damned stubborn that he wont consider moving back to a location where we can afford to live, like back to Saint John, where the costs of living are so much lower.

Anyway, you can ignore my rambling.

Blech...

2007-10-13T07:44:00.000-03:00

The last 2 days have sucked, seriously.

I have been really sick with this gastrointestianl bug, and its really wiped me out.

Yesterday, I slept the majority of the day away, and I was finally awake enough to watch TV at 2:30. I watched tv laying on the couch (in between bathroom trips) until 8, when I went to bed, and didn't hear a damn thing till 7 this morning.

I still feel like crap, and in 2 days I have managed to eat 1 chicken breast without puking it up. I work today, and I know I can't miss today, as its my first day back since last thursday. So, here I sit, pep talking myself so I don't miss any more work.

The week has been uneventful. The regular routine up at 7, send erik off to work, take care of kids, bath kids, bedtime. There really hasn't been much else done.

Hope ya'll have a good weekend!

no....more.....TURKEY!

2007-10-09T08:29:00.001-03:00

I think I may just explode from the retarded amounts of turkey consumed this weekend. I definatley do not see any more turkey coming ahead, except maybe on christmas, and I'm going to try to stay on track with WW( Weight Watchers) over the holidays.

So whats up?

Today is day 1 back at the WW thing strictly, and I am so happy I'm back at it. This past weekend has been full of so much crap, that I don't think i can look at stuffing, or gravy, or desserts for another day. I'm back to sheddin the pounds, baby. Miraculously, I haven't gained back more than 1 lb of what I have lost up to this point, so I'm doing something right. So, I remain at 10lbs down, and 7.5 inches off all over.

It was a pretty good weekend over all though, my mom came up for the day/night Saturday morning, and we had Turkey numero uno Saturday night. Sunday we spent the day helping my MIL and FIL painting their front and back deck. Monday, We had our big dinner with my MIL and FIL.

How was your long weekend?

So not impressed

2007-10-04T15:20:00.001-03:00

So, I go to the doc today. I get there, and she tells me I'm being put out of work a week.

Why?

Damn infection in my foot.

argh.

I wasn't impressed. I knew my boss wouldn't be impressed either.

and, da da da da!!!!!

She wasn't. Ahh well, what can ya do. The doc musta known I needed a stay-cation. I just wish it came without the prescription, and with housekeeping.

I will never.....

2007-10-02T15:55:00.000-03:00

Eat meat again.

Has anyone ever really thought of the slaughtering process?

I have. Everytime I have eaten meat, particularily red meat, I have thought about the animal, and if it suffered. I think about how it is done.

So today, I decided to look it up.

I have never cried the way I did today. I cried in horror. I cried in pain. I cried because of the way those animals are treated. They are in no way slaughtered humanely.

Take the cow for instance.

The cow is stunned with a taser of some sorts, so that its temporarily unable to move. They procede to hang the cow upside down by one leg, and then they stab the cow through its chest, tearing open its heart, and they leave them hanging, scrambling for breath, the blood draining from their bodies. They are in pain. They are petrified. Its completely and totally disgusting.

I for one, will never, ever be able to eat red meat again. I cannot believe that people actually find this method of slaughtering to be HUMANE. How can that be humane?? Murder is illegal for humans, and their pets, but what about these animals? Shouldn't they have a right to die without pain?

I can't believe how guilt free we have all been buying and consuming these animals without one thought to how they suffered. Since watching that, I know for sure that I will no longer eat meat.

getting back on track...

2007-09-30T20:29:00.000-03:00

I have kinda been slacking in the weight loss department, so I am getting back on track. I started off really good, with 10lbs, and 7.5 inches off all over. The last few weeks have been hard though, alot of stress, with alot of cheats. So, as of tomorrow I'm back on the wagon.

I miss working out, so I have created a new program of things for me to do at home, a mix of pilates, yoga, aerobics, and weights. I'm going to do alot of things at home, and work hard on the Weight Watchers points program. I know the one thing I wont be able to drop right away will be pop, but at least we drink diet pop. We haven't been able to drink regular pop in about 2 months now, it actually tastes gross to me. The diet pop actually satifues a sweet craving for me, as I find it to have a very sweet after taste.

On top of the weights, and exercise, I'm going to start a cleanse of a sort, of mostly veggies. I'm going to get as much roughage into my system as possible for the next few days, to help me get over this bit of a sinus cold with the load of nutrients and vitamins that it will add to my system.

The hardest thing for me will be planning our meals. The worst part for me starting this, was the fact that it took me like 20 minutes of going through all my food in the house to figure out what I wanted to eat. So, I am starting to make a schedule of all the meals that were going to have, what I'm going to make, and they're points value. This way, I can focus on getting the weight off, and not on the stress of making sure I'm eating the right amount of points.

The biggest thing for me is having support while I'm going through this. Yes, I have Erik, but he has alot more will power than I do, so if I think i want ice cream, I'll talk myself into having it. I have joined a group created by Tinacious ( go visit her, her blog is listed in my blogroll) called the Big Gay Losers. Its a weight loss group for support based upon the show The Biggest Loser, and it is a group directed at gay/lesbian people, as well as people who are just plain Happy (gay) { Tinacious, please correct my description if its wrong in anyway....I'm a little under the weather and aren't at my full capacity of typing things out the right way...}. So, if any of you are interested, stop by her blog and drop her a line! I'm sure it will be a great challenge, and a lot of fun to have other people to talk to while on this weight loss journey. its going to cost us all 5$, but at the end of the program, the Biggest Loser/winner gets all of the money collected!!

Anyhoo.....i'm off for the night. I got this damn sinus/head cold...and the pills to help me get over it really knock me on my arse....have a good night ya'll, and talk again soon!!

Friday Finally...

2007-09-28T11:37:00.000-03:00

Has this been a long week for you? It has been for me.

I have been working nights since tuesday, and my last one for the week is Saturday night. I'm off Sunday and Monday, and back at er on Tuesday. At least they're shorter shifts.

So, Terry's mom went to SJ for surgery Thursday, and I have heard that she is doing well. Still awaiting test results, but she is feeling alright. I'm going to be heading down to see her and Terry Saturday morning just to check on things:)

Why do the holidays always seem to sneak up on you?? Holy crap, one second I'm happy I started christmas shopping early, and the next, I'm rushing to buy a turkey and fixins for Thanksgiving next weekend!!! Its a good thing I work in a grocery store....

Well, hope you all have a happy Friday!

A Funny...

2007-09-26T11:33:00.000-03:00

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be>>Masculine ("el computador"), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Oh, I forgot to mention....

2007-09-24T14:31:00.000-03:00

Guess who's taking the course for their Canadian Firearm Safety License???

Moi!!!

LOL....

Well, actually, Erik and I are doing it together with my soon to be FIL. I'm looking forward to the classes in December!!!

A new week, with new beginnings

2007-09-24T08:16:00.000-03:00

So, here we are. Monday.

As we speak, Erik is at his last day of work for CFB Gagetown, doing his security clearings. He shouldn't be gone too long. I'm off work today.

So, This week, is going to be my first week on front end. I work cash the first time tomorrow night, during the busiest time of the night. Should be interesting. I work Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, and Sat, all 6-10pm's. I'm definately looking forward to not having to feel like a dirt bag when I get home from work, from being in the Deli.

Sso, listen to this bullshit. this was definately the last straw of Deli-crap for me. I called in Sick on Saturday becuase we were all sick and feeling like crap. I told my boss I'd be there Sunday for my shift. That was fine.

I show up Sunday at 8:30am for my shift at 9, and they tell me that I was taken off the schedule for Sunday. I was like..WTF? Apparently my so called boss was pissed cause I wanted to go front end, and she cleared my entire schedule from yesterday to this Sunday coming. So, while I was there waiting for Erik to come back to get me after just dropping me off, I talked to my new boss, and she added me to the schedule for this week, hence my full week this week.

So, I spent the day cleaning, doing tons of laundry, and preparing an engagement dinner for my MIL and her Fiancee. I made stuffed pork chops witha raspberyy and dijon sauce with apples, creamy broccoli soup from scratch, and roasted potatoes. We also had a really nice bottle of White wine, Ernest & Julio Gallo Sauvignon Blanc. It was sooo tasty!! I definately prefer White wine over Reds.

Today, I'm going to laze around the house, after all the scrubbing I did yesterday. I'll spend some quality time with my girls. Later this afternoon, I'm going to do my nails, so I have pretty fingers for my new position tomorrow!!! LOL, I'm a habitual nail biter, especially when I'm stressed out, so when I do them in acrylic, I don't bite them, cause I know nothing will come off.

Have a good one today!

News!!!!

2007-09-21T09:18:00.000-03:00

Two very exciting things have happened!!!!!

The first, is Erik got a new job!!!!!! As of Yesterday, He is now an employee of Fredericton Volkswagon!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

To celebrate last night, we got a DQ ice cream cake that fittingly had a vehicle drawn on it, and we headed to his moms. We walked in, and I walked up to her with the cake and showed her.....and she goes" whats the cake for?"

and I said " Because your son got hired at Volkswagon"

and.....She totally went ballistic. She was so happy, it was the funniest thing I have ever seen!!!

The second thing that has happened, is that I am no longer a Deli employee. I am a front end employee now!! That means no more hair nets, no more taking my rings off, in fact, if I wanna color my hair hot pink, I can!!! not that I'm going to....LOL.

Today is going to be a great day!!!

Yawn.....

2007-09-20T08:07:00.000-03:00

Have you ever woke up with one of those " I just wanna be lazy, and not do a damned thing" kinda feelings?

Thats exactly how I feel at the moment, but I have some things I have to get done before I can take advantage of it. I have a bathroom to clean, and two loads of laundry to fold. The rest is just usual picking up of things..clothes strewn about the house, dishes.

Yesterday was a good day. I spent the day with my kids, while Erik was at day 1 of the last 3 days of work. WHen he got home, we packed up the kids, and went to their grandmother's to drop them off. From there, Lolita, Erik, and I went to Pizza Delight for dinner. It was sooooooo good. They make the best ceasar salads ever!

From dinner we went to Sobey's for groceries. an hour and 175$ later, we were back at my MIL's to pick up the kidlets. we were home shortly after 8:30pm, and we got the kids ready for bed. Tiana waited up to talk to my mom shortly after 9 on the phone, and by the time she hit the pillow, she was out cold. Kallie was really quick to sleep too, and we never heard anything from either one of them until 2 this morning.

For some reason this morning though, I'm just wiped. There is nothing I would rather do more than lounge around on the couch all day. But, thats not in the cards rght now. So, I sit here, trying to wake myself up, drinking a cup of Vanilla Roobios Herbal Tea. Nothing added, as that would completely screw my WW diet, and our next weigh in is this Sunday. I'm not really expecting any changes this weigh in, cause we really haven't been eating good the last 2 weeks. We haven't eaten bad, we have been keeping track of how much/what were eating, but we haven't been fully following the WW plan. So today is back to it full time for me.

I have dinner cooking already, I am making a slow cooker beef stew. The weather here has been really chilly, so I'm happy that the time has come to start making stews and soups.

Tonight we are going to go look at a car, and then we are heading to get Kallie and Tiana a few much needed items of clothing. Kallie is still so small, still fitting in 6 month clothing, and nothing of what we have for hand me downs from Tiana's first fall/winter will fit her yet, so we need to pick her up a nice warm jacket. Almost time to pull out the hats too, Kallie has been having a wicked cough the last few days.

I'm off to get things done, so I can chill-ax all day. Have a good one!

Changes...

2007-09-19T10:48:00.000-03:00

So, yesterday was an interesting day.

I was in a pissy, bitchy mood all day just thinking about going to work.....here's why.

Erik has had 2 job interviews over the last few days, one at a Hyundai Dealership, and one at a Volkswagon dealership. Now, obviously, I want Erik to work full time because he brings in more $$ per hour than I do, I make 8$ per hour......right now he's bring in 23$. I mentioned the interviews to my boss, and she got really mad, saying that she was " relying on me to work during the days as of next week", and asked me to get my husband to refuse the job offers so i can work while he stays home.

Can you imagine??

When I told her I wouldn't do that, she got upset. I asked her if it was posible for me to work 6-10 in the evenings instead of 5 to 10, cause obviously Erik wouldn't be home from work to take the kids for 5. Her response really pissed me off. she said " why would I go out of my way, to sit around here and wait an hour after my shift ends to make sure you show up."

So, I did yesterday what I needed to do for my family. I put in to be transferred to front end. They are willing to schedule me however I need to be scheduled, and they have no hassle. I don't have to worry about hair nets, taking the stud out of my nose, or taking off my engagement or wedding rings. No more hassle of slicing meat, or scooping salads, or dishes, or cleaning. I. Can't. Wait!

When I told my boss last night that I had asked to be transferred, she was pissy. "oh great, now I have to hire another person to replace you." Well, thats just too bad toots. If ya would have dropped an hour off my evening shifts, ya wouldn't have to now would ya? I at least agreed to stay in the deli until we are sure that Erik is going to get a job at a dealership. I reallllllly hope he does. Keep yer fingers crossed!

Annnnnnnnd........

2007-09-17T15:28:00.000-03:00

......were back.

Sorry for the post delays...but i have beena busy girl with work, and home, and family, and playing house wife.

I think I'm running on fumes, I have been so busy.

So, whats new.....leeeessssseeeeeeee.

Erik will be an unemployed bum as of Monday. He has 3 days of work left, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Monday, he goes to sign out of his security cleanances on the base. *sigh....

But, things aren't looking bad. We went out today passing out some resumes, and he got interviewed on the spot at one place, and one other place he goes for an interview tomorrow, so hopefully, something good comes from one of those places. Will keep you all posted.

The weekend wasn't bad. I worked Friday night, and all day Saturday. Saturday morning my mom came up on the bus, and Saturday evening we watched some shows, and had a good dinner. Sunday we caught up with my MIL and FIL, and we took my MIL's car to Saint John for th day to take my mom home. We spent a good day in Saint John, and come home, arriving around 7 pm.

So far today, other tan passing out resumes, I have done nothing but laundry. # loads so far, and possibly 1 more to go. I'm off to work here in an hour, which sucks, but, hey, I only work 4 days this week. I'm looking forward to the break.

Humpy Day!

2007-09-12T08:14:00.000-03:00

So, here we are, Hump day.

Whats up?

I forgot to mention to you all that two weeks ago this past monday, Erik and I had started Weight Watchers Points Program. Now, I didn't actually join, cause I'm too cheap, but my good friend kelly has the info, and she was kind enough to help me along finding all of the info that I needed to get started.

Our first weigh in was Sunday, Sept. 9th. I was completely and utterly shocked. Since August 27th, I am down 7 lbs, 2.5 inchess of my chest, 2 inches off my waist, and 3 inches off my hips. I never knew it was as easy as it is to drop weight!! I am so happy that Kelly told me about this plan, its not difficult to follow in the least way! I got these results so far and I haven't started working out yet, I have been too busy with work.

Erik on the other hand, goes running every other morning. He's down 9 lbs, 2 inches off his waist and hips. Ar first he felt like he was starving cause he used to be like a human garbage can. Now he finds he gets full alot faster.

Hopefully, now that we have hired a few more girls, I will get more free time to start running. I miss running from when I was in High School, and its something I hope to get to enjoy again soon. 7lbs down, 63 to go!

what am I doing today? Lessseeeee. Oh. Erik's second part of his vacation starts today at 9:30...listen to this. He has 38 hours of vacation left before he's laid off. He was going to take the other 2 hours off unpaid. Its 2 frickin hours. His boss wouldn't let him. So. he was up at 6:30 for work at 7:30, and he'll be home shortly after 9:30. How bad does that suck....and how retarded does his boss look for not giving him 2 hours??

Erik's applying to join the Canadian Air Force this week. I don't know if I'm happy, sad, scared, or worried about that. If they accept him into what he wants to do, he will be going to Borden, Ontario for the course for 44 weeks, and then 8 more weeks of basic training. A hole year. I told him I didn't want to move that far away, my kids are too attached to their nana. After a year, he can be posted literally anywhere in Canada.

I'm going to support him in whatever he decides to do, but my heart is torn. If we wouldn't have had kids, I would move no problem. But I do not want to tear my kids away from my mother who helped me raise Tiana until she was well over a year old. Kallie doesn't know my mom all that well, after all, she's only 7 months old. There is also the fact that if I go with him, I'll be completely away from everything, and everyone I have come to know up here in Fredericton, and it was too hard on me last time moving an hour away..whats going to happen if we move like 2 provinces away?

I could stay in NB, maybe move back to Saint John while he's away for his course. I would recieve separation pay for us being apart, along with his and my pay checks. Then I could take the kids wherever he was posted. I dunno. Part of me is excited for the adventure of moving to a new place, but the other bigger part of me is afraid of the move, because I'm worried about what it will do to my girls. No one for them to play with, no one familiar to them but me and Erik. I don't know.

Wanna hear some bullshit?

2007-09-11T10:05:00.000-03:00

If your like me, ya do, as long as it pertains to someone elses bullshit.

This has to do with what will shortly be Erik's former employer. His contract ends on the 24th.

So, he goes in to work yesterday for day 1 of his 2 days of work this week( he took vacation for the rest of it). He finds a group of seriously pissed off co-workers.

Whats going on? Well, for starters, if you show up 2 minutes late for work, say at 7:32 in stead of 7:30 am, they make you stay 2 minutes later after work to make up for the time. Is this fucking grade school??

Nope....Canadian Army.

Also, your not allowed to start cleaning up your area of the shop until 3:45, and if your caught cleaning up early, you get in serious shit...(well, ok, not super serious shit..I mean what are they going to do.....Fire him? Given the current situation, they might as well, seeing as he only works another 3 days then hes done aside from his vacation.)

There will also be daily meetings at 3:55pm ( they're done at 4pm) just to make sure no one leaves early.

Now, I'm not saying I don't love living in this amazing country called Canada, but sometimes, I'd like to know what the fuck the Canadian Forces are thinking! Are they trying to ruin morale amongst the workers? Cause thats already been acomplished.

Not much else in the plans for today....I already rearranged the kids dressers. They needed those dressers cleaned out something bad, the colder weather is upon us, and it was tiem to clear out all the summer gear. Lemme tell you, do I have some clothes to buy for these girls. I never realized just how much until this morning. Ugh, such is the life of a mother I guess.

Its almost that time of year to be purchasing winter boots, and snow suits...hats and mitts....oh....and Halloween costumes.

Last year, Tiana completely refused to go out trick or treating. We were in the process of getting her dressed in her cute little one piece tiger costume.....and a little boy come to the door. Dressed as.......gulp........BUZZ LIGHTYEAR. SHe was petrified. How do you become petrified of buzz lightyear?? Needless to say, we spent what should have been a fun evening at the grocery store, me pregnant, and with tiger wiskers on her face, but no costume. At least the cashier felt bad for her, and gave her a special halloween gift bag full of treats that then 2 yr old could eat.

Hopefully, we have better luck this year.

Hows your day going?

I'm still here......

2007-09-10T09:27:00.000-03:00

.......Just been busier than hell. I didn't forget about all of you.

So, whats up?

I FINALLY have a day off, and I don't think I'll be leaving my house. I haven't stopped going for about 2 weeks now, and I'm going to enjoy vegging at home. I'll get through all of the blgs I read today, and maybe even find some new ones! Any recommendations??

A friend of mine finally made her way back to the blogging world. You can visit her through my list of blogs over there in the gutter, her name is Fallen Angel. She makes for a good read, its nice to see someone who enjoys life as much as she does. Go pay her a visit:)

So this weekend was a busy one. Friday night I worked. Saturday, we spent in Saint john with my mom. Yesterday I worked from 9-5, and headed to my MIL's house to visit my soon to be FIL. He's there alone until Wednesday, my MIL is away with her sisters. From there we hit the supermarket, and the bus station to pick up Lolita, and hoem for the evening.

I'm pissed, cause I was dying to see Brit Brit's long awaited performance on the MTV Video awards, but we missed it. Gunna have to Youtube it later. I wonder how bad she bombed......

Anyhoo, off to resurect my long dead household..make it look like someone who cares lives here again. Have a good one!

Teething and such...

2007-09-06T14:05:00.000-03:00

So Kallie has gotten her 2nd tooth. *sigh.....my baby girl is growing so fast!

Other than that, there hasn't been much going on. I went to work last night, to come home early. For some odd reason I have been having alot of severe stomach aches....and NO IM NOT PREGNANT! Jeez, if one more person asks me that......

Gotta work again tonight and tomorrow night, I'm off Saturday, and I work Sunday. I'm looking forward to having a few days off, finally.

Today we just kinda puttered around, went to Canadian Tire and got some stuff to fix our heap-I mean car...I think if I kicked that thing, it may just fall apart. We seriously need a new one!!!

I know its not much, but thats all I got for now.

What a busy weekend...

2007-09-04T09:52:00.000-03:00

....that was!

Hopefully, things will slow somewhat. Saturday i worked for the day, and when I got home at 4:30, I found my sister, her bf, her kids, and my mom at my house. Needless to say, that was very, very stressful, because all of the cleaning and scrubbing I had done the previous day had all been shot to hell. I was trying to keep things as clean as possible, and as tidy as possible, because with Lolita moving up on Monday, I wouldn't really have the chance to get things as clean as they were.

They finally all left to head home around 6, and I got back to cleaning. We got a bunch of stuff taken to my MIL's for storage, and started to clear out the room that was/ is Lolita's.

Sunday, we rearranged the last little bit of stuff we have to move....a dresser or two, a deep freezer. I headed to work for 11, and was there until shortly after 5. When we got home, I finished as much laundry as possible, and finished tidying as much as I could. Spent the later part of the evening curled up on the couch, compltely exhausted. I slept well Sunday night.

Monday, we were up around 7am, and just kinda puttered around until 9:30. We then headed to my MIL and soon to be FIL's house, as they had just returned from vacation. We stayed there for a few hours, rearranging stuff with them, and letting Tiana play outside. We returned home, and about 15 minutes after we got home, Lolita had arrived with her uncle and her grandmother to move her stuff in. Erik, Lolita, and her uncle got all the stuff up on the elevator, and the hole move took all of 15 minutes. We got some of her stuff rearranged, and got ready to head to Funky's house for a little get together with some good friends for a corn boil and a deep fried turkey. All I can say is omg....the turkey was completely AMAZING. It was so moist, and so juicy. We left there very stuffed, and very satisfied. Thanks again for dinner Terry! It totally rocked!

Eriks on vacation this week, so were going to take the kids out for a bit today. See what kind of trouble we can get into before I head to work tonight!

Exhausted....

2007-09-03T07:35:00.000-03:00

So, yea, the last few days have been more than nuts. I am completely, and totally exhausted.

Worked my butt off wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, and yesterday, and alas, today is a day off, only because of the holiday today, labour day. Back to work tomorrow, wednesday, thursday, friday, and saturday. I really hope we find some people to hire soon, cause this is really starting to suck. Even though I would rather work through the evenings then through the day, is so much less busy during the evening.

So, besides the working thing, I have been preparing the house for the arrival of Lolita today, along with her moving truck. We have been rearranging the house, and we even got a bunch of stuff taken to storage. We put both the girls in one room together, and they seem to love it so far, its been about 5 days now. We moved a freezer, 3 dressers, a crib, a bed, countless toys, and my wedding gown out of the room that is to be Lolita's. At least now, we have someone to watch the kids while Erik comes to get me at work now!

We have been having ALOT of car troubles lately. Even though my husband is a mechanic, even he is getting annoyed at the amount of money that goes into our car. Were really leaning towards buying a new one, but at the moment, that seems kinda hard, with Erik being out of work at the end of the month. We got 2 really good surprises last night though.

Rina and Dan ( Eriks mom and her fiancee) are going to Florida in Nov, and they're buying a new car while they're down there, and driving home. So Dan said that if we wanted, he would give us his car. Its a big help, considering its a 4 door, but his car is just as old as ours. He has a 96 Intrepid. We will see how things go though, I guess.

The other big surprise, was from Rina. She recieved her settlement from selling her home in Ottawa, and has decided to pay the rest of our washer and dryer off for us. We still owed 900$ on the set. So, nowe we are that much more out of debt, which totally rocks!!

Speaking of washer and dryer, I have a ton of laundry to get through today before Lolita gets here, so I best get at it.

On the schedule today : Move Leata's stuff in, and go to Funky Cowboys for a corn boil/ deep fried turkey. Definately going to be a good one!!

Hope you all have a great Labour Day!

Of all the lame ......

2007-08-31T07:39:00.000-03:00

........call in sick excuses, last night, I had to have heard the best. Seriously, guys, this ones a real winner. Almost right up there with calling in dead.

Last night, I had asked a coworker about a young boy who has been working really good for us for the past few weeks. This kids names Max. He had last week as vacation, as he went home to Cape Breton for a visit. He hasn't been back to work since, and he only booked off 5 days.

So, I make the stupid ass mistake asking where max has been. It is responded to by heavy laughing. Of course, I respond with " what?"

Turns out last friday, he was in a car accident. Well, if you'd call it a car accident. He had a little ity bity fender bender with a friend in his car. No damage done to either car (told you it was small), and obviously no one was hurt.

Seems he is " emotionally traumatized, and needs a week to recover from the horrific near death experience. "

I cannot make this shit up if I tried. Seriously. Ug.

So Yesterday was a hole lotta fun.....Dentist at 9:30 am. I get there, go right in, and I am given enough freezing to numb the entire right side of my face. Some one could have cut off my right ear, and I wouldnt have noticed it. He does the filling, and away I go in about 30 minutes. My dentist rocks, and is gorgeous to boot...I'm sure he thinks I'm fine as hell with the big blue rubber dam thingy stretched across my mouth. Ahh well, probably for the best that I didn't look hot..my husband would have an issue with a Dr. hitting on his wife.

After teh dentist, I had the bright idea to go grocery shopping at my store, with my mouth frozen. Turns out, my boss was working, so when I ducked in for a minute to get my schedule, she jumped on me and asked about the other night with asshole Justine. So, i told her everything, and she was like" yep, just makes it easier for me to dismiss her".

I then hand the ginormous list of cleaning that I was called in to do, and I apoligized for not getting it all done. She quickly read down the list, and she looked at me. Then she goes, " OMG, Nicole, you didn't need to do all of this! There is stuff on here that I wouldn't do! I am so happy I found you, you have been nothing but a god send since you started here!".

Of course, I was all, hehe.....theres no problem, I don't mind doing the extra stuff. The she said to expect a good raise at the end of my probation. EEEEEEEEE! Thats what I wanted to hear.

So off I go, doing my new " on Weight Watchers points plan" grocery shopping, which included a ton of those Thinsations cookies. On the WW points plan, there is only 2 points per pack. Did I tell you this WW points system totally rocks??

I started this on Monday, and I thought it was going to be hell, but it totally wasn't. You can eat normal everyday things, but you weigh them out, or measure them out. Veggies are completely free, meaning they have no point value, so you can eat as much of them as you want, only counting salad dressing, etc. I promised myself I wouldn't peek on the scale until Sept. 9th, cause realistically, I ddin't expect to see a loss until the end of next week, but......the scale was there...and it was calling my name....so I jumped on, for a little peek.

I was completely in shock. I still am. I think I'm going to buy a new scale, just to be sure. Keep in mind, I started MONDAY, as in 4 days ago, like the 27th, Monday.

I'm down..........5lbs!!!!! 5 Fricking glorious lbs!!!Can you believe it? Me neither. I'm completely estactic.

So yesterday, after our fun grocery trip, I went home, had lunch, and crashed on the couch, dead to the work for 2 hours. I really shouldn't have slept, cause I didn't get to bed till 2 this morning, which sucks when you have 2 kids up at 1:30. Why 2 kids when Tiana is normally a once asleep, she isn't heard from until 7 am the next morning??

Cause Lolita is moving up, of course, and we decided to try the kids sharing a room before we put Kallie back into the bedroom with us. And, last night when Kallie woke up hungry, Tiana decided she needed to get up to play with her. It wasn't fun, ya'll.

Up at 7am. gotta clean up after a storm hit my apartment. Work tonight at 5. I wonder if there are any point friendly energy drinks??

Hope everything is goin well for you all out there!

Why is there always that one person...

2007-08-30T07:31:00.000-03:00

..............that is waiting to fuck up your day at work?

Is it a law of science? Is it a natural occurance that was created by some higher power?

No.

Some people just reallly like to make people's nights at work hard.

Last night, for instance.

I get called into work, right? I get there at 4:30, and it turns out that there are some big wigs coming to the store (I work in the deli of a grocery store), to check on food safety and overall cleanliness and sanitation. The only reason I was called in was to tackle some of the last minute cleaning jobs, which was fine by me.

There is this one girl who was hired by me, Justine, who is a complete flake. were talking like one of the head stoners . SHe always comes to work usually coming off of a high, and all she does is ask for food. She sneaks food, she takes stuff out of the deli cases without asking, and she goes as far as to ask you to go buy her something.

Then, she doesn't do her job. She took 2 hours last night to make up 8 subs. 8. They come pre made, all you do is add lettuce and tomato to them, and package them! Like come on!

She had an attitude with the customers, and and even worse one with us when we told her she can't eat while she's working. The phone in our dept. is not allowed to be used for personal use unless its an emergency because we have so many orders that are called into us, and where do you think little miss justine was half the night? ON THE DAMN PHONE. gaaaaaahhhh. 8 times, for roughly 10 minutes each time. Keep in mind, she is on probation until the middle of NOV.

Guess who's going to be fired??

I don't deal well with bullshit from co-workers, at work. Your there to do a god damned job, so for fuck sakes, do your job. Don't stand around and eat. Don't talk back. Do what the hell your told. After all, they give you your paycheck. I work with some really wonderful girls there, we have alot of good laughs, but she makes us all crazy when she comes in. Its depressing, and it makes for a long night.

So later today, I get to make another visit to my dentist, to have the filling put in where I had my root canal. Right now there is a temporary one in place because it has been a little irritated, so finally, we get the crap delt with and move on.

Tonight, its back to work, but thank god Justine isn't in with me. I think I might just beat her to death with a hunk of deli meat, and store her body in the cooler. Hopefully, she doesn't come in Friday for her next shift....well, she shouldn't....hopefully she'll be fired by then.

Am I evil for wanting her fired? Maybe......but it sure feels good to give her whats coming to her.

Worked to the bone

2007-08-29T14:27:00.000-03:00

So, when I was hired on in the Deli, I was told I would only be recieving about 15 hours a week, 3 shifts or so, so I could still have time to see my kids, no matter how nuts they drive me. Since I started working there a few weeks back, I have only had 1 day off. 1! This week alone I'm totalling 37 hours!

We are so short handed, that we can't even hand out all of the hours that we are allowed to schedule. We need 4 or 5 people,and we need them bad. The problem is, Fredericton is a University/College city. There are 2 Universities, and a few college's. Almost everyone who is applying are highschool students or uni students, and they can't work/ won't work.

Anyone wanna move to Freddy and come work for Sobeys??

Today has been one hell of a rough one. Tiana has been the poster child so far today....she's been very wel behaved, and she's been....QUIET. Which is rare. Kallie, on the other hand, has done nothing but scream like someones poking her with needles. She's a little sick, a little congested. Plus she has tooth number two about to poke through any day.

So on top of trying to make a sick baby stop crying, I have been trying to clean house, do laundry, get a shower, and on top of it all, I had to wash my uniform, cause I got called in to work tonight, on my day off. Meh, money in my pocket! Let my husband deal with a screaming baby all night:)

We got some good news, finally. Since Erik's contract at work was terminated, we have been in a bit of a panic, not because of him not working, we have delt with that before, but because the place we are currently live in is so expensive that we couldn't stay here, plus we have a few bills that need catching up on. But, yesterday, my friend Lolita told me that she would be moving back in with us this weekend to go back to school, which helps me out alot!!! I was so excited to hear that! Now I can breathe easy for a bit, and not be so stressed out about money...who knows, maybe my husband and I can get a few dates in now that we wont be so hard up.

Welcome, this is me.

2007-08-29T10:26:00.000-03:00

Welcome everyone. Tis I, your host.

I suppose I should give you a bit of back ground into my life, so you can understand what it is that I write about. Here are the players in my blog, the people I post about the most often.

There is Myself, Nicole, and I an the crazy housewife/working mom that is so easily stressed out, or frustrated, due to lack of time for pretty much anything.

Then, there is my husband of just over 2 years, Erik. The man that I love so much, and can't live without, but on the other hand,the man that I would love to kill off sometimes. He is an avid online gamer, and I sometimes think that he needs Computer Addicts Anonymous.

My children, Tiana, who is 3 and a half, and Kallie, who is almost 7 months old. Tiana is the princess/ drama queen who you would swear is 3 going on 25, who is full of attitude and has a wicked temper just like her dear old mommy. Kallie is a very curious baby, who also was blessed to have the temper of her mother. Needless to say, my husband really has his work cut out for him living in a house that temper built.

There is my Mother, who lives about an hour away in Saint John. She's the "drive you crazy with the over mothering" type of person, constantly on my ass about what my kids are doing, if they're hungry, or if they're safe.

My mother in law, the psychologist/psycho mother in law from another dimension, or Rina, her earth name. She drives me absolutely crazy, but I know she means well. She is never around, but when she is, she's the type of person who after about an hour, you just want her to dissappear. She's decent to me in front of my husband, but when she's alone with me, she gives me lectures on what I should be doing, and what I shouldn't be doing.

My asshole sister, Michelle, who i absolutely despise. She is everything that I hate in a person. She doesn't give a damn about her kids, my mother, or me. She will use whoever she can to get what she wants. SHe has never worked a day in her life, and has been riding the welfare system since she was 16. She's a cross between a hick, and a blonde (no offense to anyone, I mean the blondes that they talk about in the jokes).

Thats basically all I really post about. Everyday, my life seems to have some type of excitement going on, whether it be good or bad. There never seems to be a dull moment.

Well, boys and girls, lets get started, shall we?